~hEaRtaChes~

2009-01-01T20:51:00.003+08:00

HAPPIE NEW YEAR!! ^^
ytd finally my bed
and wardrobe came!!
waited from 1plus
til 7plus then came sia
zzz..then super sianx..
haha..sanjiefu suddenly said
dun wan go see fireworks liao
then suddenly..
felt so bored.
so..dunno..
then sanjie ask mi over
drink at her place
i was like..so bored lei
then tot go holland v
but end up..
jos and her frenx
not drinking..
then myint also not there yet
he said.
if we going
he can join us.
but we afraid no table
then sanjie said
aiya go her house la.
i was like sighx..ok..
hahahaha..
then last min..
suddenly she called..
said june at cdans pub
ask mi wan go?
actually didnt reali wan
coz like very bored
i dunno them
summore..all sure old ones
lols..but i was tinking..
bored at hm also..
if she wan go i pei her
most impt
one sianx thing is..
need money lei.
lols..
wahx..but i reali..
thanks God..
haha..he didnt let mi..
spent my countdown
alone or bored.
coz..
we met this guy..
who worked at the canteen
beside the swimming pool
he recognised us sia
then he sat with us
joked.chatted..
even treated mi whisky dry!
nice..
alot better than beer *YUCKS*
anyway..
think he bored also.
he told us..
he loved to go clubbing
he goes alot places..
he wont spent his nitex
at such pub..
but coz..
his bf said..
if u dun spent that nitex
there with him..
.....
so bo bian..
he got stuck there..
oh..coz his bf work
in that pub..
haha..
and then horx..haha..
end up we dun have to
fork out a single cents
for any drinks..
all the beer we had
june husband paid..
heehee..quite ok la..
not reali VERI SIANX
haha..reached hm..
abt 3.30am..
couldnt slp well
keep waking up..
tis situation..
i had before..
well..actually..
i sms him but no reply
called him when reach hm
but..
think he super busy..
and hung up..
used to his speaking tone
whenever he got frenx ard
he talked to mi in att way
maybe is coz..
no reply fr him..
i kept waking up
to see my hp..
sighx..dun even knw..
wad im hoping for..
lols..
ohh..and one more thing
my face!!
heehee..looks a lil bett
just less than a week lei
haha..so happie =P
just now met moon
she commented
sanjie face also quite oily hor
then i asked her..
my face got looks better?
lols..
then she said ya abit..
then also like slim abit
the face..not so swollen
=X
i was like..
swollen?!!?!!
my face swollen one mehx
lols..tried one dress
quite sweet..
dunno i wear nice anot
but tink most prob
i going buy it for cny
heehee..i wan wear more dress
i wan change..
i wan work hard.
i wan to be different!
Laws of Attraction said
think of what you want
focus on it.
and you will acheive it
dun think of what you dont wan
so..
i have been telling myself
i wan to be pretty
i wan to be slim
i wan to be happie
before slp..
i kept reciting that.
when i woke up.
i repeated too
lols.
^^
so happie..
erjie nv angry with mi liao
haha..
i dunno why..
she's the last person
i wanna hurt or gei gao with
but yet..
that day..
i actually..
sighx..
then horx..
funnie thing was
she's most angry with mi
not coz of that.
she's angry with mi
coz i dun like erjiefu
haha..
well well..
hmms..
(:
happie new year~~~
may all dreams come true
lalala..
may this year be a great great
super nice year..
tho i fan tai shui
haha..
but then again..
i will do my best.
make things work well
i wan to change!
so i must work hard
i wan to be different!!!
^^

2008-12-30T13:45:00.003+08:00

ohhoo..so excited and happie~
tml my new bed & wardrobe coming
lalalala~~~
hmms..last sat so qiao
yu dao szesian at turf city
so surprised..
haha.both us said
never expect to meet there
lols..sanjiefu always go
the car shop there
next to the one he went
is szesian family biz
haha..reali so qiao..
hmmx..sianx.. =X
super sleepy lehx
lols..
lalala..
woohoo!!!
new year is coming
so fast!!!
hmms...

2008-12-28T20:13:00.002+08:00

this year xmas.
i veri happie..coz..
i finally bought nice
preents for my nieces&nephew
even bought presents for the maids.
but one sadx thing was..
i dun get a single present.
sighx..
sadden.
anyway.
cleared all my half yr filing
on friday!!
so damn happie!!
each time i cleared those filing
i felt so relieved and glad!
heehee..
like a achievement to mi lols
today.not veri good.
stupid mi.
for nothing.
gei gao that lil money.
made my sis upset.
sighx.
then caused myself upset also.
something is not..
reali rite here..hmms..
anyway..
argh!!
im broke! shucks!
ytd just got money only.
end up today all gone
lols!!
i bought a bed and wardrobe
seen doc for my skin.
argh...
not even beginning of the mth
and i spent ALL!!
=X
shucks!
anyway.ytd see the doc
heard its super good
even did the light&peel
my sanjie la.
lols
she do ma.then i also do.
so ex!!
wahx.then today.
my chin.
the part below my lips
breakout sia!!
damn scary.
reali ALOT!!
hmms..
my sis also say so scary lehx
haha..
so uncomfortable..
zzzz..sians...
hmms..wahx..
hope faster pass lehx tis mth
=X

2008-12-13T00:09:00.002+08:00

sianx..
today planned go cgm
finally i agree to go
then..
end up..
kaox..stomach upset.
wahx.feel so terrible in office
so bloated.
then growl so loud
damn real loud.
if someone beside mi
i think can hear lorx
then keep feel like..
ehh..whats that call..
hmmx..like diarrhea la
but..
no lorx.
i ran toilet few times.
kaox.
then end up.
no choice
coz reali feel so..
uncomfortable.
tell my colick.
think i cant go.
eEek!!
like as if i dun wan go
then last min say
not feelin well..
zzz..dunno i suay
or wad.. =X
sianx..
anyway..
hahaha..
recently bought alot..
doraemon stuffs..
at pasar malam.
1st time to tt pasar malam
i bought 3set dvd
then.next 'visit'
i bought 5towels and a clock.
then today.
i bought 3pyjamas!!
finally have doraemon pyjamaS!
so happie..haha..
too bad..
bedsheet dun hav =X
i gonna make my room..
so doraemon..lolx.. =P
i love the towels.
lalala.. =P
hmmx..so sianx.. =X

2008-12-07T13:14:00.004+08:00

wow.this sickness.
really makes mi
grow a lil more!
so much things
happens at work.
haha.over.
dun reali wanna
talk abt it.
coz after all
those aint reali
happie or worth
keeping moments.
so its over.
now,im bucking up
to show i can do it!
man! ytd was reali
damn great and nice day
been super long.
since i enjoyed myself
so much like this.
even laughed til tears rolled!
LOLX
cant believe
i reali went out with
sheang yuan & myint!
its reali a great day.
after work.
went chinatown with sy
for lunch then shop.
meet myint 4plus at bugis
then we went swenson
for ice cream treat!
myint owed us lolx.
after that we went.
ehh..hahaha...
mustafa.1st time.
then we went for indian dinner
lolx.after which.
INDIAN MOVIE!!
1st time to shaw tower.
=X
and the most unbelievable part
we went hollandV for drink
after the movie man!
man!! howx i really
enjoyed myself ytd!
but.spent alot at shopping
gosh! =X
but i never spend on
unnecessaries.
i bought the things i need ONLY
lolx.oh ya.
myint brought along his cousin
but well.still ok.
fun too.
initially is kind of weird.
but after which.
at the pub.
we all had fun joking
and laughing etc. :)
really really ENJOYED!

the most fun part
i think is at the restuarant
lolx.reali kept laughing
one part is.
mi & sy ordered one ginger tea
to try.then.
when it came.we were like
ehh..howx to drink.
i asked so loud
til one waiter look at mi
and the table beside
turned over to look too.
then nvm.coz
the small metal cup
had 1 small bowl below.
both with the tea.
so we were like howx come
then myint was like so serious
answering all we asked.
then to this qns.
he was like..ehh..
then suddenly he said
it overflowed.
mi and sy
laughed til dunno where.
my tears rolled?!!
even myint & his cousin
laughed loud too.
i mean.thats the 1st time
ytd that they laughed so loud
even tho the whole day
we asked alot silly qns.
so it shows.
howx damn stupid
and funny that thing is.
overflowed...
wth! LOLX!
well.luckily
the place we went
wasnt filled with..ehh..
those indians with smells.
if not i would faint on the spot
even the cinema also.
no smells AT ALL!!
heehee..
omg!i reali love ytd =P
oh ya.took pic at pub
his cousin..
took til drop myint's hp
man.kind of brand new one
so poor thing.
but.mynmar ppl
no temper de.
think i should mix with him more
to learn more from him
hahahaha..hard tho =X

2008-11-26T14:03:00.007+08:00

haha..read thru the previous post
lolx..so stupid..
wad none of my biz anymore
wad i wun care anymore
KNS lorx.
ytd jiu call him again liao
with just hearing of his voice
makes mi feel..good..
sighx..still wad curse..
knn..tink drama mehx.
lolx.so idiot.
as if i reali wish..
u live in misery like mi
kns.fuck.tho i knw.
and strongly knw that
u will believe in it.
haha.but wadever la.
no matter wad i do or say
u only believes im evil
so no diff if u believes or not.
sighx.those things.
just wrote out of sadness only.
dun reali meant it.
haha.tho i do hate u at times
for the way u treated mi.
but.somehow.
deep inside my heart.
wo hai shi xi wang kan dao
ni xingfu.
no matter howx sadx.
howx upset.
but i can never bring myself
to hate u for long.
i will just miss your voice.
miss your hugs.
miss ur everythings soon again.
sighx.hopeless rite?
gone case rite?
haha..
hmmx..tml starting work le.
hopefully..everything...
start out rite..
haha..hopefully..
this post..will be the last one
that contains u in the chapter
haha.. =)

everyone moves on..
the earth continues turning.
no one will ever stop for mi.
im the only one.
wasting time.
standing at square one
never moving.
and only when i turn back to see
then i realised.
i once again.
wasted another year.
with everyone
moving on great and strong.

我们的看不懂他们听懂了
我们的害怕他们习惯了
世界不会因为我们任何一个人
而停留着。
不是命运已经注定谁比谁幸运，
也没有人的每一天都充满快乐。

人在成长的过程中
难免遇到挫折
懂得保护自己
也要懂得爱自己
生命的乐章
看你自己如何去谱写

躲避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难受
得到不一定能长久
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱
别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错
许多事情的答案都不只一个
所以我们永远都有路可以走
你能找到理由难过
也一定能找到快乐

eNd chApteR

2008-11-25T14:46:00.004+08:00

been a week
since i went work
and yet..
not even a call or sms
from u to bother
askin if im fine..
last whole week..
im the one calling u up
even called u on sat morning
hopin u can mi some food.
but u threw temper at mi
sayin u drank alot
the previous nitex.
so i waited..
til aftn..u rejected my call
sms ask if u busy.
u said ya with her.
win lorx.
the moment she call u
u got up fine and meet her
i was almost dyin..
u dun even hack care.
only idiot and fool like mi
would go bother abt ur life
when u sick.
and when im sick.
who cares? rite?
now i truly know
wad deardear and moon
meant by wad a jerk u r
now i see it and understands
im just being the greatest fool
on earth by not understanding it.
all i wan is a slight concern
from u..just a call or sms will do.
bother to ask mi..
so howx u feeling?betteR?
but u dun bother at all..
im just the only fool who will
go bother..care so much.
once u sick.my mind all filled with u
call everyday askin if u bett..
call everyday asking if u wann eat anythin.
rush down just to buy for u.
rush down doin everythin i could
just for u..and for nothing..
i got this stupid fever..
stupid dengue fever..
causing my life..so miserble now.
and u dun even bother!
i swear by my left over life
from this moment on
i wun be bother by ur life as well
even if one day
someone called to tell mi
u in hospital or wad
i wun care.i wun bother
its no long of any biz of mine!
i swear!
and this is my curse to u.
for treating mi like dirt.
tis is my curse for u.
u dun deserve any happiness.
from this moment on.
any gals u met, shall be like her
who will never love u nor be true to u
shall treat u like how u treated mi
this two months.
making full use as they nid.
and when they found the one they love
they shall just dump u like trash,
i wan u to fully experiences the pains,
the heartaches, the foolishness i went thru.

this will be my last chapter
of my past miserable life.
thurs i be starting work again
fr there on, shall start my new chapter.
my new life will begins.
this i assured myself.ha.aha..

wow.i..ehh..hmmx..man.
wads the color of my skin sia.
i reali cant recall =,="
my skin's reali a disaster
argh!! so er xin..
so scary..so..man..loss of words.
hahaa...cant bear to look at my own skin
lolx.terrible.. =X oh and one thing..
i been weighing myself..
ahaha..71?but so scare..
once i recover liao..gain back fast
lolx.. =P
argh..so damn itchy..sobs!

2008-11-20T21:40:00.003+08:00

ytd nitex took medicine
temperature went down alot
mid nitex took temperature
36.8 nia.tot td can go work liao
but morning when woke up
man..38??
siaox..
went to see doc..
took a blood test
for dengue fever..
=,="
scare most jiu shi
da zhen chou xue liao
sighx...
tired..been slpin
whole daySS!
haha..fever since sun worx.
lolx..nan de will fever
wahx.then nv end..
lolx..will it overburn?
haha..
sighx..
u reali dun even..
bother to show a lil..
concern..
so sadx..
even frenx..
sick also will concern abit.
aft all..
when u sick..
i so concern abt u..
sighx..sianx..
forget it..
mayb even if i..
reali anythin happen..
u wun know also
haha..coz u said
i dun call u
u wun bother call mi
wahx..heartbreaking words
already so sick..
yet u still times..
purposely said those..
hurting things..
man..heartless creature..

2008-11-18T14:16:00.003+08:00

haha..that ah poh veri funnie one
just now sms..said..
when 'he' sick i take care him
so now i sick 'he' must take care mi
i said him siao!
i said.i take care him..
is i willingly one
dun mean he must take care mi
haha..anyway sun when..
he willing sent mi home
i already veri happie liao
just abit sad..
he nv bother sms or call mi
see if im better..ahaha..
anyway sighx..ytd at office..
reali felt like as if im dyin man!
kaox.reali feel so miserable!!
reali kills..
whole body aches.
cant move.
then keep fa leng.
the more cold the more pain.
lips and tongue feel numb.
things i taste are all bitter.
cant eat sia!!
zzz..reali terrible..
walk also feel giddy.
reali is everywhere PAIN!
but i touch my forehead
no fever.sis touch also bo.
then surprisingly.
just now see doc.
38.8 sia!
doc said.hopefully
i is only get infection
from my frenx!
got 2days mc.
if 2days later.
fever still persistant.
and no flu!
must go back see her.
coz suspect got dengue.
LOLX
i also nv tio mosquito bit
weird.
haha.tink is normally fever la
haha..sianx.
hmmx..weird.
just now after shower with
super warm water.
my hand no more so pain.
kns.ytd so damn pain
til each time i woke up
so hard to fall back to slp.
coz reali super pain.
argh!!

2008-11-11T18:54:00.003+08:00

wow..today while working.
was lookin at calendar
then realized..
today is exactly the one month
i went find him.
the 1st time i looked him up
was 11th Oct..haha..so zun..
today maybe the last time..
im seeing him..

yuan ben tot..
go ur place..
one last time..
tot can have a good nice
getting together de
but..
never expect..
it to be the worst..
but then again
well..
maybe only like that.
then can make mi..
really stop bothering u.
stupid mi rite.
no matter how hurts
i know i will get.
no matter howx pointless
i know the things im doing.
but still i wish to do.
still i wish to see u.
with just the little hope of
staying by ur side.
seeing u hugging u.
haha.but..
u reali is the best..
when u said this..
"what is it u exactly want fr mi"
"what is ur motive.."
"is this what u wan to see?"
haha..twice..
twice u hurts mi with
this same things.
its seems like..
no matter what
im reali just a scheming one
doing things with motive.
my zhen xin..
u reali can never feel it.
u reali think..
its worth getting myself
so hurt so pain..
just to see u hurt as well?
am i reali so idiot til.
i find myself not hurt enuf.
to get myself more hurts
in order just to see u hurt?
fuck lorx!
nothing to say.
u good u win.
this is always ur best way
of hurting mi.
returning mi double the hurts
i gave u in the past.
never mind.
maybe.
one day u will know
maybe one day u can feel
the pain i went thru.
coz i always believe in..
retribution.
im just being paid
for the pains i caused others
in the past.
你已做到顶绝顶狠
而我已做到最贱最狼狈
its time to stop right? (:

saw this bulletin in tagged
find it quite nice
so copied and paste here
hmmx..

如果你不爱一个人,
请放手,
好让别人有机会爱他/她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢
也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋
也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种.
但别让自己
成为一种伤害.
有些缘分
是注定要失去的,
有些缘分
是永远都不会有好结果的.

爱一个人
不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人
就一定要好好的去爱他/她.

男人哭了
是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了
是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,
我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.

如果失去是苦,
你怕不怕付出?

如果迷乱是苦,
你会不会选择结束?

如果追求是苦,
你会不会选择执迷不悟?

如果分离是苦,
你要向谁倾诉?

好多事情
都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情
当时一点也不觉得苦!!

2008-11-09T21:46:00.002+08:00

i am a little bit of loneliness
a little bit of disregard
a handful of complaints
but i can't help the fact
that everyone can see these scars
i am what i want you to want
what i want you to feel
but it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
to just believe this is real
so i let go, watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here 'cause you're all that i got

i can't feel the way i did before
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored
time won't heal this damage anymore
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored

i am a little bit insecure
a little unconfident
'cause you don't understand
i do what i can
but sometimes i don't make sense
i am what you never wanna say
but i've never had a doubt
it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
for once just to hear me out
so i let go, watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here 'cause you're all that i got

time is a valuable thing
watch it fly by
as the pendulum swings
watch it count down
to the end of the day
the clock ticks life away
it's so unreal

didn't look out below
watch the time go
right out the window
trying to hold on
but didn't even know
wasted it all just
to watch you go

i kept everything inside
and even though
i tried it all fell apart
what it meant to me
will eventually be
a memory of a time
when i tried so hard

i tried so hard and got so far
but in the end it doesn't even matter
i had to fall and lose it all
but in the end it doesn't even matter

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface

Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest

2008-11-02T02:49:00.002+08:00

当我还是一个懵懂的女孩
遇到爱不懂爱从过去到现在
直到他也离开留我在云海徘徊
明白没人能取代他曾给我的信赖

see me fly i'm proud to fly up high
不能一直依赖别人给我拥戴
believe me i can fly
i am singing in the sky
就算风雨覆盖我也不怕重来

我已不是那个懵懂的女孩
遇到爱用力爱
人心真爱像沙鸥来去填密
只为寻一个奇迹

see me fly i'm proud to fly up high
生命已经打开我要你总精彩
believe me i can fly
i am singing in the sky
你曾经对我说做勇敢的女孩
我盼有一天能和你相见
骄傲的对着天空说
世界乘你兜风
let me fly
我不会孤单因为你都在

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品
我们那麽甜
那麽美
那麽相信
那麽疯
那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去

突然好想你你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过
没有你却又突然听到你的消息

醒了我却还是闭着眼睛
只有这样才能留住梦境
还看见我最爱的眼睛
还有你偷偷亲吻我的情景

醒了我都不会挣开眼睛
是怕泪水慢慢吞噬心情
原以为我们有了约定
就能够听见朋友祝福的声音

还来不及和你和你在一起
数着天空里坠落的星星
你已经离我而去
爱没有继续
原来我根本不是你的唯一

我紧闭双眼摒住呼吸
根本就不敢在夜里想你
谁知道在白天遇见了你
看见你新的唯一靠在你怀里
我留给眼泪不能呼吸
我无法面对最后这个结局
曾经我们有过无数话题
爱到最后
我们对爱竟会无能为力

谁会想到曾经相爱的人
还没到最后
我们对爱已经无能为力

2008-11-01T13:04:00.002+08:00

wow!!
next wed ah poh
suppose to drink with mi
and this wed he fever
then..
next sat..moon suppose
to drink with mi..
today she fever!!!
>.<"
LOLX rite?
hmmx..sighx..
sianx.. =X
dunno why..
haha..hmmx..
this whole week..
been wondering..
wad have i done?
hmmx..why it seems like..
im just a scheming person
doin things with motive
in your eyes..
sighx..
reali sadx..
it seems like..
no matter what i do..
nothing is rite..
hmmx..i owed u alot
in my previous life?
did i?
i supposed so..
say i did everything
planned..
like trying to get u
to be nice to mi
so i can treat u like
DIRT
hmmx..
why is it that
when u said this
i felt..
it seems more like
u r the one..
doing things..
nice..so as to..
get mi more hurts?
dunno why
but reali..
when u said that
to mi.
i reali feel it that way
very strong.
the ways u treat mi
and yet the things u said
everything.
its like..
being so nice to mi.
misleading mi.
letting mi enjoy
the sweetness..
and then.
each time.
suddenly..
comes the words of knives
cutting mi thru.
hmmx.
dunno.
haha..
seriously lost.
lost as in.
i dunno wad i miself
doin and wantin
hmmx.
anyway
reali cant believed
u said that to mi
reali hurts mi lots
ha.ha.ha.
well.
nvm.
its good to get hurts
lolx!
feel great
ehh.i sound sick
lolx.. =X

Everybody's got something
they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
that just seems to grow with time
There's no use
looking back or wondering
How it could be now
or might have been
Oh this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend
that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know
no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be
cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use
looking back or wondering
How it should be now or
might have been
Oh this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that
I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter
where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream
that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will,
you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be
the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use
looking back or wondering
Because love is
a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye

2008-10-29T23:20:00.002+08:00

WAHX!
so sadx!
3rd day nia!
kaox.
met moonie and pras
treat them dinner
so no choice.
must eat.
damit!
sianx!
hmmx..haha
funnie sia they
from jp we took train
then stood at the joint there
then when reach je
moonie walked to empty seats
i tot..only she blur cock
nvm.
so asked pras.
where she goin sia
BUT!!
pras followed her?
they sat down
even waved mi over
ask mi come come
i stood there blurred!
looked at them
reali innocent look
asked..ehh..
u guys..not changing train?
LOLX
then they OOPS!
jumped up and get out
luff til pengx lorx
ha!!
hmmx..
these few days..
kept sms frenx
arrange for meet up
lolx..like as if..
i dying soon.
no chance meet liao
if dun meet now.
haha..
hmmx.. =X
lalala~

2008-10-28T22:51:00.002+08:00

haha..trying out..
to see howx long i can tahan
=X
that time..w/o work
i only tahan a week.
so this time..
with work and water..
wanna see..
howx long i can tahan.
lolx...
if can dun work.
i sure dun wan =X
wanna rot like that time
totally dun do anythin
=X
lolx.
stupid i know.
that time i rot
i feel so OMG
told myself not to rot again
but yet..
this time..
i wanna feel the rot again
so much wanting!!
haha..stupid i know
anyway I AM!
haha..
hmmx..
today 2nd day.
hope can last longer?
LOLX!
today after work
climbed stairs!
was thinking
omg.nv eat.
still climb.
skali one day
i faint! =X
LOLX,
nvm.wait for tt day
to come 1st then say
haha...
ehh..anyway..
been wanting try
faint de feeling =X
hahahahaha...

2008-10-27T04:48:00.002+08:00

eyes swollen.
lolx.
dead.
haha.
lazy to talk abt wad happen.
anyway.
nothing to say also.
no point say.
argh.
ya lorx.
alot things.
no point say.
wtf.
why did i failed again.
fuck.
wth i said.
and cried in front of u.
fuck.
can someone just.
pronouces mi dead?
fuck la.
eyes damn pain.
nabei.
ytd 6am then slept
9am woke up.
go badminton.
then never slp.
til now.
argh!
can someone drink with mi
til i drop dead?!?!
fuck la.
argh.
no cig.
nabei.
wth is wrong.
fuck!
argh!

2008-10-23T19:06:00.004+08:00

wow ytd del the past 2weeks sms
with that ah poh..
guessed what?almost 400 sia!
LOLX..meaning avg one week 200sms
hmmx..lot?or normal?haha..lolx..
i got no loss la..
my sms is totally unlimited free
wahaha..he..lolx..prepaid card =X
haha..oh ya..hmmx..
ytd super tired..coz reali damn busy at work
even skipped lunch..plus..
previous nitex maple with him
til 2am..then never slp well..
kept waking up..
so tot ytd wan slp early..
maple til 12am..
man..ren suan bu ru tian suan..
1plus daddy sms asked if i slp le
wahx!his sms super precious one lorx
missed tis one dunno nid wait howx long
then can get again de LOLX =X
so i asked him call..haha..
talked abt 2hrs..til 3plus
=,=" faint rite..
haha..when i 1st saw daddy sms..
1st tot was..
zao zhi dao i cont maple with u hao le
lolx..hmmx..told daddy abt it
daddy super upset..
scolded mi..heartpain mi..
haha..certain sentence tt touch mi
got once i luff..he said..
hear u luff like tis..
make mi even more heart pain
=) sounds..familiar..
but cant recall where..
but also..its a veri touchy word..
coz it tells mi..
someone reali can understand how i feel
and not looking at the surface (:
another one..daddy only want see u happie
then daddy can be happie..
haha..simple sentence..
but..still touchy =D
at least..
in this world out there..
there is one guy..
who truly cares abt mi
and not just making use of mi..
daddy wanted mi promise him one thing
but i never..
die die never promise him
he very sadx..i know..
i know he cares..but sorry daddy
reali dun wanna promise things that
i got no confidence of keeping..
dun wan.. i dun wan..
thanks daddy..for being such a..
great daddy..even we dun meet
haha..even tho..u called once
a few months.. =) love ya~

我睜開眼睛卻感覺不到天亮
東西吃一半莫名其妙哭一場
我忍住不想時間變得更漫長
也與你有關否則又開始胡思亂想

我日月無光忙得不知所以然
找朋友交談其實全幫不上忙
以為會習慣有你在才是習慣
你曾住在我心上現在空了一個地方

原來愛情這麼傷比想像中還難
淚水總是不聽話幸福躲起來不聲不響
太多道理太牽強道理全是一樣
說的時候很簡單愛上後卻陣腳大亂

2008-10-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

w0 dE mimi..
haha..a nEw bl0g of mine
haha.. =P
a blog..whereby..
i can write all i wan..
can write howx i feel..
like my personal diary..
heehee..hmmx..
hoo..tired..
dunno why..haha..
feeling abit..
kinda lost?
dunno..hmmx..
maybe 1st day of that la.
haha..thats why so damn tired..
lolx..been thinking alot..
omg..haha..howx then can i..
dun think so much huh..
haha..i dun wan so fast..
so many white hairs la..lolx..
hair alr soo lil.. >.<"
mai mai..i dun wan..haha..
i seems to be lost always..
even tho..times i tot that..
im veri clear..i knw wad to do..
hmmx..but then i realised..
i seems to be lost always..
haha..dun reali know..
wad i wan..dun reali know..
wad to do anymore..
my target of life..
seems to be missing always..
until im like so so lost..
keep losing my way..
feeling so lost dun feel good..
haha..coz reali dunno where to turn.
hmmx..so many things..
so little people to share..
hmmx..cant seems to talk to anyone
hmmx..in fact..almost like zero
haha..lalala...
wow..a new year is coming..
that's reali fast..
ohh..time passes even faster..
without you in my life?
man!
and yet..here i am..
LOLX..i seems to..
repeat the same thing always..
haha..dang!
when then i can stop repeat..
haha..that's the time..
when i reali changes..
hmmx..wish next year..
can be the time then..
haha..
dun wanna waste much more life
haha.. (:
oh let's see..
so what is my next year goal
>.<""
EEK!
this year..
i seems to accomplish none?
hmmx..let's see..
ehh..
hmmx..
=,="
reali none?
FUCK!
haha..

2008-10-20T20:48:00.002+08:00

since fri nitex..
nv go home til ytd nitex
lolx..then almost 2days nv smoke
ALMOST!!
wow..haha.. =D
hmmx..these 2days 2nites..
hmmx..well..dunno..
enjoyable..plus abit sadx?
haha..enjoy movie with u..
ehh..the kenji show..
not very fantastic tho haha..
but ok la..eek..my painted skin
=,=" end up still nv watch haha..
then..the back massage nice! =D
hmmx..that morning..hmmx..
something which i been hoping
u will do for years..and u never..
yet that morning u did..
hmmx..u dunno wad it means..
haha..u never will..
forever u never know wad i wan
howx i feel..hmmx..
u jux dunno wad ur action tt mrn meant
the way u told mi not to cry..
so gentle..
the way u sayang mi..
the way u hugs mi..
u jux dunno wad it means..
hmmx..u should have let mi go..
that morning..
you should have just let mi go home
and not pull mi and stop mi..
tho i was happie..
for the things u did that morning..
ya i was..
but..it was wrong..
it makes mi think too much..
even i said im not expecting anything
but..ur actions tt veri morning..
makes mi think too much..
too much...
too much til i have to keep reminding
and telling myself..
im not expecting anything..
im not suppose to think anything.
im not suppose to!
well..thanks for being so nice
and caring to mi these 2days
ya.. =)
i think i know..
what im suppose to do le..
tho i still wanna be ur frenx
as i said earlier on.. =)
oh ya..and..stop saying wad
trying to act jerk..
so i can give up all this shit
BLUFF!
i dunno howx to say..
but i can tell u..
u r lying!
and i hate it when u said that
even i dun believe..
but when u said that..
i just felt..
u dun trust mi..
still u dun believe mi..
like u never will..
never...
when i told u i love u
u dun believe..
when i said i will change
i will try my very best to
neither do u believe..
and one year later..
here im telling u..
i wanna be ur frenx..
still u dun believe mi..
u dun..u never do..
i reali just wan u to b happie
sighx..dunno wad to say..
haha..lalalala...
oh..my 9pm show start liao..
byebye...

2008-10-17T20:47:00.002+08:00

this year like keep having
people telling mi..
actually im not fat..
just upper too big..
see my arm, tigh not big also
=,=" hmmx..but so?
im still big sized right =X
still ugly right =X LOLX
oh ya..sobs sobs..
ytd i shi lian.. =X
lousy deardear..
dun wan an wei mi..
ur dear mi shi lian lorx!!
die die insisted not counted
lolx..who say not counted de..
as long tio reject is consider shi lian
=X
HAHA~
met moon ytd..
sat downstair chatted til 2am
then reached home..
talk with lousy woman til 4am
man! so malu..
on transport fell aslp is common
but..1st time i never wake up!
til everyone get down..
then woke mi up! =X
haha..later meeting them
ohhoo~
drink drink!!
haha.. =P

2008-10-16T00:05:00.002+08:00

just now..
thinking about what we said..
somehow tot of this i asked u
before i go over to find u..
whether u and her an item
coz if yes its kinda weird..
i go find u..hmmx..
then u said..u r single now
hmmxbut anyway..
she went to find her ex also
hmmx..tho nothing much..
but..feel weird..ha..
and not reali nice =X
anyway..can i dun be ur ex?
LOLX..
can i be..ur frenx? =)
i dun wanna be ur ex..
haha..
i dun wanna be..
a ex clinging or
hoping to get back..
i just wanna be a frenx..
a real frenx..who can talk
go out, share ur problems..
hmmx..weird i know..
asking such a request..
ha..dunno why..
somehow just now just
suddenly..tot of it..
ya..i just wanna be a real frenx
a frenx u can talk to..
a frenx u willing to share ur prob
a frenx who once awhile..
can meet out..for meal..
for movie..for drinks..
ya..just wanna be a frenx..
here for you.. =)
wanna see you find your
true happiness..haha.. =D
jiayou k?
ehh..OMG!
haha..just previous post..
i was saying..
need to get out of your life..
and now i said..
wanna be a real frenx..
man!
that's mi..argh!
changes mind fast..shucks!
hmmx.. =,="
but no matter what it will become
all i reali wanna see is..
you be happie!
truly happie =)
man..so late le..
must go slp liao..
haha..nitex.. =X
yeah..fri come come..
can go drink =X
hahaha...

2008-10-15T18:49:00.004+08:00

想要幸福的笑容
就好像名字写在沙漠
只要是一阵微风吹过
轻轻松松就把我的所有带走

走在黑夜的宇宙
看不到哪里才是尽头
往前走握紧还在颤抖的手
才能够让自己不疑惑

想听你说要紧握着执著
要带着我那一年的悸动
那一刻的梦那时候你总支持我
坚强往前走你却不再左右

~谁能给我一只神奇的锁~
~轻轻一开就让寂寞飞走~
~好希望有人教我怎么忘记伤痛~
~触碰以为遥远的梦~

above typed myself one
not copy and paste de..
haha..is part of my blog =X
sometimes..dunno wad to say..
so use song to tells..
lolx..feel tis song lyrics..
veri good..coz..
reali like tells out all abt mi
haha..plus..nice song! =D
the 1st part is so true..
xiang yao xing fu de xiao rong
jiu hao xiang ming zi xie zai sha mo
hmmx..tells..
happiness is so hard to get..
but easy to goes..haha..
and love the last one..
who can give mi a miracle lock
with just a simple unlock
can let all the lonliness goes..
reali wish someone can teach mi
howx to forget all the hurts.. =D
haha..nice nice..hmmx..lalala..
wow..wed liao..tml jiu thurs..
yeah..weekend comin haha.. =X
ytd msn with sunshine..heehee..
1st time i see him type my name
...val... =X
haha..well..what he say..
can forget it.. =X
dun reali wanna talk abt it here
haha..hmmx..deardear..
dun so pig horx.. =)
im OK!
reali ok! no worries ok?! =)
dun think too much k?
love ya~ =D

2008-10-14T20:30:00.003+08:00

man!
super shag today..
haha..couldnt open my eyes
not sure is coz tired..
or coz i cried?
haha..ytd finally got drunk
=X
wrong day to tho..
haha..
and..argh!
did something i reali..
dun wanna to..
man!
cried and make noise..
dang!
feel so guilty..
sighx..caused him..
not enuf slp..
late for work..etc..
at work when thinking over it
i realised..argh!
last time also like that..
caused him late for work
then sms said sorry etc..
man! i suddenly felt..
things nv change..
hmmx..then i start to..
wonder and think alot..
maybe i should..reali..
just leave his world..
leave him alone..
reali scared..i will only..
make him fan..
make him miserable..
hmmx..
oh..and...haha..
tt poh..LOLX!!
said he likes mi?
faint!
haha..stupid..
hmmx..why cant god
give mi someone..
normal? =X
i told deardear..
if only is sunshine lolx..
haha..kidding..hmmx..
how then can i..
leave his world..
and stop bothering him
hmmx..his mother said
this week go over again
she cook for mi eat again
haha..tho i know..imposs
hmmx..he wont ask mi over
haha..then mother also got said
got time ask him go exercise
haha..hmmx..i was thinking
can go jog horx..
sanjie dun wan pei mi
can ask him go jog
haha..since he got fatter =X
lolx..hmmx..but..
ahaha..now..i'm thinking..
of what ways..can help mi..
to get out of his life..
and stop bothering him
haha..just wants him to be happie
hmmx..he said..he is happie..
so..its like telling mi..
i should get out already
isn't it..haha..
tho i was drunk..
but i rem wad we said..
hmmx..well..sadx..
haha... lalala...

2008-10-12T21:09:00.009+08:00

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过

你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

紧紧相依的心如何 Say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管
只要你能愉快

我的爱　回不来
燃烧过的证据都还在
我的梦怎麽办
你一直被放在最顶端
我的痛化不开
还要我一个人好起来
想要你回头抱着我哭
只是到最後剩我在哭
为了昨天我哭了...
为了失败我哭了....
为了幸福我哭了....
我在夜里面无声的哭....

2008-10-12T19:56:00.003+08:00

once again..
i did something stupid..
sonething i know i shouldnt do
something..i know will only hurts mi
hmmx..ytd went drink with poh
10plus he see mi home..
then i sat at bus stop..
hesitating to go home..
or go deardear house..
hmmx..haha..end up..
11pm i decided..
go home..
while walking back to my blk
i called daddy..
tot of find someone to talk
but he at gf place..
so i hung up..
hmmx..then..
dunno why..
i called his number..
haha..thought he's not goin ans..
well..about to go home..
then he called back..
haha..then i walked to..
the block beside mine..
and sat at void deck..
haha..then well..
dunno..haha..
hmmx..sighx..
told myself..
not expecting anything..
not wanting anything..
coz i always believed..
its nv goin be possible anymore
hmmx..but somehowx..
somethings..u said..
still hurts mi..
haha..
mother reali veri nice..
(:
hugs mi..all this..
haha..i told her..
we not tgt..u like her..
but she said..like ge pi
lolx..
then even when she left for work
at doorsteps..
she whisper to mi..
shake head..say no..
she dun like u..etc
like trying to tell mi..
jiayou?
dunno..but one thing i knw..
ur heart..is only filled with her
u let mi listen songs..
telling mi u learning to sing..
i teared..
coz..i know..
the songs are not for mi..
haha..stupid i know..
=)
i always wished..
you will miss mi once awhile..
like i reali do at times..
when u told mi..
sometimes..u did tot of mi..
well..i dun think..
that consider miss rite?
haha..sadx.. (:
but i know..
i shouldn't ask for anything..
haha..
neither should i pin any hopes..
deardear ever asked..
wonder...
if u ever regret?
i asked..regret wad?
she said..regret leavin mi..
haha..i laughed!
coz..
i always believed..
never!
never will you ever..
regret or miss mi..
haha..ya..somehowx..
that's what i reali believed..

"if you love someone
let them go
if they return to you
it was meant to be
if they don't
their love was never yours
to begin with"
i always believed that..
if i let you go..
you will never ever return..
haha..ya lorx..hmmx..
that's somehow what i..
strongly believed always!
reali wish to see you..
find your happiness..
maybe only then..
i will really leave your world
i guessed?
dunno..
hmmx..jiayou ba..
oh, and one thing..
im reali surprised..
that..
ehh..
you read my blog?
haha..ya lorx..
dunno whether..
i shud be happie..
or...hmmx..
dunno.. (:

2008-10-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

never go work for 3days?
wed dajie relapse..
sighx..1st time in my 23yrs..
i felt heart pain more than fear
from young..
all i feel is fears..
so afraid she relapse..
rem young..
i even cried til vomit..
too scare..
til when she regain conscious
she got to help mi clean.. =,="
hmmx..reali is 1st time..
i feel so heart pain..
see her like that..
was tearing when i holding her..
man..
is there reali no cure for fits?!!!
reali wish to find treatment..
she's poor thing enuf !!
ENOUGH!
sobs..
wish she can have normal life..
wish she can enjoy more
than she is getting now..
wish...
...........
...........
reali wish i could help..
but yet..
i cant..
i cant do anything..
and still i always make her sadx..
hate myself..
just couldnt control..
sighx..wish..god could be fair..
if i could..
gave up my life and happiness
(tho i got no much)
all to her..
i reali wish..to give her all..
in order to let her be more happie..
more xinfu...
hmmx..sigh..feeling veri sadx..
haha..

2008-10-06T22:04:00.002+08:00

ytd went drinking with prime ppl
zhiyi last day le..
hmmx..suddenly very miss him
lolx..haha..hmmx..
last week sms alot with tis guy..
hmmx..ytd at the drinking session
hmmx..dunno..haha..dun even knw
wad i wan say lolx..
well..maybe i think too much..
lolx..hahaha...
anyway..he's not reali..
the guy i would go for also
lolx..plus..he got 'wifey' le
hahaha..hmmx..well well..
forget it..stop thinking abt it
haha..stupid.. =,="
today no mood work..
haha..reali no mood..
no strength..
cant wait to go home..
keep dozed off also..lolx..
keep..thinking abt him..
weird..haha..maybe..
he's just too gentle..
that's y think of him
hahaha..few days later..
will stop le..
now zhiyi gone le..
doubt i will go prime much
haha..enjoyed going down..
talk to them.. =)))
but frenx there..
getting lesser and lesser..
haha..miss there..
missed the old frenx there..
in fact..enjoyed talkin to him too
quite nice guy la..
i assumes so..
hahaha..but..i think..
guys..hmmx..all same..
lolx..whatever..haha..
lalalalala...

2008-10-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

wow..slept at 11plus ytd..
then woke up at abt 1.30am
and couldnt get to slp..
then..while tossing and turnin on bed
suddenly..
hmmx..
burst out..
hmmx..dunno why..
haha..scary..
i dun like..
tears and cried..
hmmx..5plus in the morning
then i fall back to slp =X
6plus woke up already..
after my superior sms mi
sayin she on mc..
sighx..super tired..
end up came home also nv slp
haha..had dinner..
then too full..so..
watched tv..
then sanjie came over..
initially is to borrow belt nia
then end up..
i got to turn my warerobe upside down
to find clothes to lend her..
zzz..then searched for nail polish..
chased her home to apply..
she die die wan apply in my room
=,="
told her 10pm le
time for mi slp
i still wan do mask!!
zzz..now then left..which is like..
10.30pm already..lolx..haha..
think i do mask all this..
again..11plus..dang.. =X
wanted do some yogo moves de
which can help to slp better..
but..now..i tink..
cant do le la..
haha..hope later can slp well..
hmmx..oh ya..just now..
msn with sunshine.. omg!
he got a new cat..
so damn cute..
tt day saw his display pic
already like tt pic liao
tot is just pic only so nv ask him
just now he asked if his cat cute
man!
so surprised..
haha..then he said..
the cat living in harmony with mickey
lolx..so sweet.. =)
i rem sanjie told mi..
a person who keep pets at home
are very patient, nice all this.. =)
MAN!
ate alot for dinner!
fuck!
at this rate..
howx am i goin to slim =X
argh!!
left 3 more months only..
year end le..hmmx.. =X
oh ya..today somehow..
was thinking..
next year my birthday
wan bring family go where makan
thinkin cant be always sakura
then jap buffet also cannot
scare parents dun eat much..
haha..then just now tv
got this programme..
introducing buffets!
ohhooo~~~
like very nice..
thinking nov or dec
ask deardear and moonie
go try..one at vivo..
one at ehh..orchard?
hmmx..nvm..see next week one
dinner buffet..saw like chinese food
haha..lalala~~
ehh.. =,="
see...food food food!!
howx to slim!
argh!!
anyway..
i hated yesterday nitex!
hope it can stop
wan to stop crying
and thinkin of him!
STOP!!
~*~tired~*~

2008-09-29T20:51:00.003+08:00

w0w..clearing debts is so0o shiok
lolx.. =DDD
1st time in my life..
i so happie returning ppl money =X
ytd was doin a so called..ehh..
money planner?dunno la..
wadever it is call
haha..ya..planning my money
and seeing howx much i left =X
wahaha..my whole pay..
used to pay debts nia =X
haha..lolx..but man..
i was so happie.. =D
with singtel gone..
the load is one third gone
phew~
then when i gave money to mom
i asked her..so..i still owe howx much
she was like..no nid le la..
man!
surprise!
aha..so happie..
meaning next mth on..
i can have 100 more to use.. =X
or maybe..100 more to pay off
abit more of debts..haha.. xD
at this rate..hmmx..
i think..
by my bday..
i can be debt free!!
and break away with life of broke-ness
haha..YEAH!! =D
ehh..wait..
hmmx..well..
i still got him..nid to return
hmmx..feel so guilty..
til now haven pay him a single cent
hmmx..wonder if he got his course
hmmx..dunno howx he doin now..
hope he got the course he wanted..
and further upgrade himself
and do even better...hmmx..
anyway..ohhooo~
so happie at the tot of debt free
finally! haha..
gonna put a stop to..
lending habits!
hahaha... =)))
im changing..bit by bit..
tho VERY slow..
but at least..
i am changing!
and moving on! =D
just now had sakae..
wow..finally lorx..
been so long since i had sushi
haha..lalala..1st time..
i treat dajie i think..
haha..last time always..
she treat us.. =X
lalala...
well..think stop here..
lazy.. =X
heeheee...

2008-09-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

stupid mi.. =,=
just now go internet banking
then realised...
fri jiu take pay liao
zzz...i still was like..
sianx..no cash le..
nid wait mon.. =X
lolx..but well..
also lucky i didnt know la
if not.. =,="
ytd at causeway..
sure spent alot
haha..no money also can
spent 60 70 liao.. =X
haha..hmmx..sianx..
haha..planning my money now
decided to record down..
every single thing i spent
haha..surprise rite?
haha..i tot so too lolx..
hmmx..and one happie thing
my singtel gonna clear le
woohoo~~~
so damn happie!!
haha..finally sia..
not going accumulate anymore
haha..lalala...
wan clear ALL debts
and be debt free!!
dread the days of..
no money..
no no no!!
gonna put a full stop
to the old living style..
nv gonna live the life..
of broke-ness!!
haha..nonono!!
=DDDD

2008-09-28T02:34:00.003+08:00

wahx just reached home
from meeting moon
lolx..tired tired end up..
also nv rest go meet her
til now.. =X 2plus in the mrn
lolx..haha..talked alot..
til butt pain =,="
she teared..1st time..
(other than her aunt passed away)
veri happie.. =X
not saying wad..dun wu hui
haha..just glad..coz..ehh..
howx to say..hmmx..
dunno la..
its like..she's pouring out..
all her xin shi to mi.. =)
oh..and one thing..
just now forgot to blog
wahaha.... =PpP
recently..
keep got ppl said i slim le
hohohoho~~~
ytd met one neighbour at lift
she asked..'u jian fei arhx'
i was like..no arhx y?
then she said u slim le..
lolx..then one auntie..
at prime..also asked mi
u learn yoga got slim?
i said no lei..then she said
no mehx?i see u have lehx..
lolx..then today met ser
she also said..u slim abit le izzit
i was like where got..haha
then met clara shi..
she also said i slim abit
heehee..i told moon
moon was like..
told u le ma..have
u dun believe...
ur face also abit smaller
haha..then she said..
got ppl said u slim still dun wan
i die die wan ppl say i slim le
=X haha..well..
happie of coz..
its part of encouragement
to work harder..haha.. =D

hmmx..oh ya..
today then knew that..
sunshine grandma..
just passed away on mon..
fri just cremated..
hmmx..no wonder..
that day sis will saw him
and his mum and grandpa
at coffeeshop...hmmx..
but he also nv mention =X
sighx..

2008-09-27T18:00:00.004+08:00

w0w.. veri tired..
just reached home..
about..5.40pm..
morning 8am jiu wake up le
then shower all these..
then went downstairs
meet ser go coffeeshop eat
waited for her for abt ehh..
dunno..20mins?i was early
plus she a lil late..haha...
or mayb my hp time fast =,="
after ate..we went causeway..
queued for that stupid nokia
so slow..then need wait few hrs..
sighx..didnt want wait
on the spot called dad
then he said nvm tml he go take
but aft think think..
aiyax..wan help..help all the way
dun halfway rite..
sighx..so 12plus i called nat
but she at work..then i called clara
heehee..she came over and meet mi
we went MOS burger..
sat down chit chat for abt 2hrS? =X
ben lai she intend to study de..lolx..
then 3plus almost 4pm..
we went nokia to collect..
omg..so many ppl..
=,=" almost 4.30pm then we left there
went courts see awhile..
then we go off le..
coz i wan fetch dajie off work..haha..
today..i like almost blessed ppl..
with half the extra money parents gave mi =X
the hp casing thing 30plus nia
mother gave 60..so extra 20plus..
hmmx..morning i treat ser breakfast
but..she said not feeling well..
end up only ate bread&eggs&teh bing
then while waiting for clara..
at the mrt stn there..got this old lady..
on wheelchair sell tissuses..
i gave her 2bucks..she wan change give mi
i told her no nid..then she said thank you
then dunno mumble wad..but i heard like
buy lunch or sth de..
so i asked her..who buy for u?
she said no one..then asked..i goin up?
so i asked wad she wan..then i go buy for her
haha..she wanted give mi money i told her
i go see 1st if hav anot 1st..
coz take money fr her so weird..
ppl might tot..i cheat her money lolx.
anyway when i gave her the rice..
she wanted pay mi..i said nvm la..
haha..ask her eat carefully got bones =X
then so long nv see clara..
wanted treat her..but..
she said she ate le..dun wan eat
so end up we drank ice milk tea nia..
lolx..haha..then morning when reached there
saw those donations flag day thing..
i walked up and put coin in..haha..
recently..see these..i will auto..
dug coins and walk up to drop..
lolx..think..i have not been doin this..
for very long..haha..ya lorx.. =)
felt that..i must have been very bad..
that's why im being punished now..
haha..so nowadays..will feel like..
giving out abit even when i dun hav..
haha..when i buy for tt old lady..
i was thinking..i might be broke..
but im still able to survive..
buying a meal for someone..
isnt goin cost mi much..
but it might means alot..
to them...
ya lorx..haha.. =)
wooh..tired..climbed stairs up
hesitated tho..haha..coz reali tired
but told myself cannot lazy.. =x
haha..wahx..went TheFaceShop
ben lai just wan buy..
one brush for sanjie nia..
omg..end up..spent $50 there
=,=" hopeless mi..argh!!
=X

2008-09-26T14:26:00.003+08:00

sighx..today..
nv go work again..
overslept..
sighx..sadx..
my boss still veri nice
sms him still can joke wtih mi
but i told him..
wahx u still can joke
sue sure veri unhappie..
sighx..then he said
dun worrie its ok
as long dun make it a habit
sighx..dunno..
argh..hate myself..
today alr fri..
tml can rest le..
why nv wake up!!
fuck!
upset with myself..
always only use mouth say
wan change wan work hard
but..nv once do it
argh..
howx long i wanna stay useless..
dang!
sianx..no go work..
feel super sianx
dunno why..
like so lonely..
haha..
just now look over my music
saw this song
ai wu li
wow..veri long nv hear le..
used to be my very fav!
hmmx..sighx...

最后我们分开了
虽然还是朋友
但做回朋友的情人
想摆脱关系不太容易
寂寞变成了习惯
习惯靠着孤单
想念该遗忘
不该在身旁
陪着我的每个夜晚

我只想对着夜空轻轻的呼吸
寻找我最爱的人到底在哪里
在慌乱中翻箱倒柜寻找记忆
有一种爱它曾经住在我心里
陪伴我熬过多少个无声哭泣
不懂爱情我的心如此无力

其实我很清醒
其实我很冷静
看着眼泪滴落在手心

dunno wads exactly wrong with mi
always have the sadx feeling in mi
sadx..and lonely..
which i dread most..
i hate this kind of feelings..
makes mi thinks...
makes mi wanna cries
and do nothing..
i dun like..
i dun...

2008-09-25T22:28:00.001+08:00

man!
sometimes..
the more u wanna run away
the more u gotta face it!
fuck!!
kena force to go causeway point
this sat..
help parents go nokia care
ARGH!!
FUCK man!!!
damn it!
who wan pei mi
argh!!!
idiot..
why so suay
pei them go one time
now gotta go another
argh!
ASS!!!

2008-09-24T22:27:00.002+08:00

just came home..
went downstairs with sanjie
by rite is wan go stroll
but end up..
we stuck at prime haha..
saw a cust like..ehh..
purposely tryin to pick fight
sanjie called police..
lolx..waited half an hr
zZz..stupid lorx!
if reali big issue..
by time they come..
GONE liao le..
zzz..but tt guy waited there also
haha..then talked to this guy
like talkin to him..
haha..he talk very gentle de
lolx..funnie one..haha..
hmmx..waited almost half an hr
then realised..
we r not the only one..
called police..zzz..
ah chun and one HQ guy also called
lolx..wad the..
zao zhi dao we dun call..
but then again..
they call is go behind quiet call..
my sanjie is..
purposely walked to poh and tt guy
asked loudly..nid call police ma..
then called de..
if not..tink tt guy wanna fight
he with frenx..
they like wan beat poh liao
zzz..sehx sehx one...
but when police came..
he appeared super normal =,="
then mi and sanjie went off..
police said they took over..
lolx..meaning..
u two can stop KPO-ing here
haha..then we sat at blk 115
sit down chat chat..
then sanjie suddenly whispered..
tt guy behind u..
i said mai bluff la...
she said..reali..
then i turn..expecting her to luff
then i saw tt guy reali behind lolx..
then i sms poh..
haha..he veri cute sia..
ask mi call police
i wanted reply no nid then he called
then i said no worries la..
nothing one..he nv wad us also
then he keep say... dun let him knw
where u stay..haha..
i was like..wahaha...
he stayed next blk to mi
lolx..hmmx..then just received a sms
he asked.. r u ok?
lolx..i replied..
ya of coz wad would happen
then he said..dun let him knw
where u live if not late
he take u go.. LOLX
so cute sia he..haha..
i replied him said..
haha..i so big howx he take mi
if he dare touch mi i kick him
haha..funnie la.. heehee...
sanjie said..
tt poh quite ok looking
i was shocked tho =X
but tink..ren lao le..
taste follows..
haha..not saying he bad lookin
still ok la..for his age and pattern
haha..but just..
surprised sanjie said that..lolx.
well..ppl married le =X
haha..hmmx...

~ 分手就象失去翅膀 ~
~ 想遍着你的我 ~
~飞不到原来的方向 ~
~ 每当象现在我感觉到悲伤 ~
~ 我会努力让你走的方式飞翔 ~

【只要相信,就会看见幸福的绿光】

ღ~ 谁能给我一支神奇的锁 ~ღ
ღ~ 轻轻一开就让寂寞飞走 ~ღ
ღ~ 好希望有人教我怎么忘记伤痛 ~ღ

2008-09-23T22:33:00.005+08:00

recently reali in luv with tis song
veri nice!
reali likes it alot..
so decided to change my blog music
haha.. (:
im touched..everytime..
i see someone tag my blog..
coz it tells mi..
someone cares.. (:
yupx..
today took urgent leave
just suddenly.. hav the urge to..
accompany my mom whole day..
haha..weird rite..
ya..i love my family..
tho i express likewise
but i truly loves them!
its been reali long..
since i spend time with parents..
well..was glad i did today..
just that..
they went woodlands..
my forbidden area!
man!
i hate it there
i seriously do!!
after everything..
mom still wanted go the top floor
lim kopi!
i insisted dun wan!
i hate it here!
went there coz of them..
if not..
die i also insist..
im never gonna step into tt area
sighx..

谁能给我一支神奇的锁
轻轻一开就让寂寞飞走
好希望有人教我怎么忘记伤痛

2008-09-21T16:38:00.002+08:00

hasn't been very well these 2weeks
emotionally like kinda breakdown
dunno why...
been crying alot..
hmmx..and friday..
wasn't very well also
things..all went wrong..
everything sucks!
sighx..i did nothing..
i did nothing at all
all i did was flare temper
and cried!
felt so useless..
reali felt so useless..
just wanted to do sth for her
but yet..
sighx..useless..
really useless..
im tired..
really tired..
keep asking..
when..
exactly when..
then will GOD rem..
that im HIS creation too
fri nitex..
talk to deardear
breakdown..
cried and cried..
while waiting for moon..
kept asking her..
wad did i do wrong?
why must god do this to mi
why must god..
treat mi like this?
exactly wad did i do wrong!
shan bei zhi de chuo
shan bei zhi huan
SHAN BEI ZHI HUAN!
bu yao ran zhe bei zhi de wo
shou zui..BU YAO!
zhe bei zhi de wo..
gen ben bu ren shi shan bei zhi de wo
BU YAO!BU YAO!!
sighx..tired..
reali tired..
dun mean to bother deardear
with all this..
but..i reali dunno who to turn to
just nice she called as well
sighx...

谁能给我一支神奇的锁
轻轻一开就让寂寞飞走
好希望有人教我怎么忘记伤痛

2008-09-16T09:26:00.002+08:00

wow..been wanting to blog
but end up lazy to..haha..
anyway the taiwan trip was cancel
i dun wanna go..end up they cancel
hmmx..decided that...
my other goals more impt
taiwan trip..can wait next yr
sanjie was sayin..go next yr
she and jiefu wan go also
hmmx..moon also wan go?
haha..dunno..so..decide to wait
and focus my other goals..
hmmx..anyway...last sat..
wasnt reali a good day for mi
was lookin forward to it so much
coz was supposed to try my veri
first cake making!
but end up..FAILED!
sobs sobs so damn sadx
my ice cream cake!!!
worst!!nv even get to complete
lolx..ice cream too soft le..
haha..end up..1st layer nia
gone!
wasted so much oreo cookies!
half tub ice cream.. =,="
coffee cake..moon say not bad
travis say nice..just the cream
not nice..i also feel cream not nice
coz too buttery lolx..but..
i dun like the cake also..like..
sponge cake de..hmmx..
as for cheesecake..
travis say nice..i feel..ok..
coz my cream cheese... =,=
nv dissolve completely
so can eat alot lumps cheese
haha..but other than that..
still ok lei..hmmx..ya lorx..
decided to do tt on thurs
for dajie bday.. =X
oh and the orh nee..
not bad! just that...
lousy deardear!!
nv mash properly..
no patience woman..
zzz... =,=
but taste still ok..
haha..looks like i still got
alot more to learn
in baking sia..
haha..cooking is still..
bett for mi..lolx.. =P

hmmx..ytd mc..coz mense cramp
lazy come work =X
tot sure will slp whole day
but end up..watched whole day show
gReEn fOreSt mY hoMe
nice nice!! oMg!
haha..watched til 11pm sia..
now left 5epi.. =X
oh and watched underdog also
haha..finally..heehee..nice also
man..i cant wait to go home
and watch the show la..haha..
wahx..i like that guy in the show
owen..he's soOo damn cool
and cute!and so GREAT!!
wahx..nice show la..just like
my lucky star..
also super nice!
must watch!! xD

2008-09-02T13:16:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG OMG
haha..im so excited =X
tt day was still tinking over..
abt all my goals of this year..
then was kinda disappointed
coz i seems to achieve none!!
then i rem, i still even said to everyone
i wan to go taiwan by this yr!!
then i was like..so sadx..
coz now i tink..i doubt i can!!
but then again, i stopped miself
even told miself..hard to say..
skali..i reali somehowx get to go..
before the year ends..
haha..and just now lunch..
sutji and sauyoke were discussing
abt clearing leaves thing..
then sutji said go holi together
then suddenly said go taipei!!
then i was like..omg.. =X
then aft discuss discuss..
sauyoke suddenly said..
or dun go taipei la
go hongkong..
then asked mi wan ma?
then i keep quiet..then said..
i wan..go..taiwan.. =X
haha..then she said oh..
u wan go taiwan huh
ok la..go check and plan..
woohoo!!!!
but sutji said..go end of OCT
omg so fast???
scare not enuf money lei
arghx...hmmx.. >.<""
sighx..sadx..nvm..
see howx 1st..sure got a way out
heehee...omg im so happie ^^

2008-08-27T14:31:00.002+08:00

if sleeping can helps to forget
i would sleep through my life

if stop breathing can helps to forget
i would stop right at this moment

if only smiling could do that
if only working hard could do it
i would have long forgotten
and do not need to be still searching
searching for solutions
searching for helps
hoping i could simply just get
a coma and memories wiped

silly thoughts i may have
crazy thoughts they might be
but all i want is just something
so simple yet hard to achieve

2008-08-25T14:16:00.003+08:00

was on leave on thurs and fri
thurs was a damn busy day lolx~
morning 6.30 when my hp alarm rang
I ACTUALLY WOKE UP!!
when i stared at my hp
i was like..wad the..
when i need to work
i couldnt even hear the alarm
but yet today i do not need to
i woke up by the alarm!! =,="
went back to slp aft turning off alarm
7am deardear sms mi >.<"
i replied 2 or 3 and fall back to slp
then 8am,my colick sms mi
telling mi she not taking transport
so i inform another guy.
then think my colick realized
i on leave, she sms mi again
saying noted that i on leave sorry
lolx =,="
then 8.30am, sue sms mi
asking mi abt dunno whose inv
she called mi straight aft i replied
the 1st thing she said was..
u sleeping arhx?sorry.. =,="
lolx..then talk awhile after hung up
haha..and i woke up to maple le..
zzzz...til 10am finally lvl alr,
abt 10.30 i went to shower all these
by the time i done 11.30am alr
lolx..we meeting one more frenx
11.30 at lot one..haha.. so end up
i nv get to drink even my soup!!
oh,was with dajie and kelvin
then dajie cooked dunno
breakfast or lunch la..haha..
i told her no nid cook rice for mi
i just have the soup and veggie
but end up..not even soup for mi
zZz..the nitex b4 was alr starving
lolx.. =,="
then at movie
wanted buy sth to eat
but at B1, all the food there..
cannot eat de..zZz..
not fried jiu shi cakes!
sighx..kelvin bought one big pkt
my fav nacho tibits for mi
but i told them i dun wan!!
during movie i reali guai guai nv touch
sobs..only drink my guava yogurt drink
sighx..poor mi..haha..
aft movie,walk around awhile
then went home to change
meet moon 4.30pm at yew tee mrt
from there we walked to cck stadium
think we were there for an hr or so
mostly i did the cycling thing
i burned abt 140 calories before i stop
hahaha..then went to find moon
then we do a lil of these and that
went back to the cycling thing again
=,=" i was like..again?
haha..then i set 100calories
when i just started to paddle
i felt..imposs to finish 100
was thinking to give up..
then..dunno why..suddenly
tot of him..then closed my eyes
and think of us..of him..
then inside mi i was shouting
and i paddle faster and faster
force myself to finish it up!
tell myself i must do it this time
and never give up!
i must live even better!
wow..and i did it?
i was damn surprised i finished up
the 100 calories! LOLX!!
but..nitex time..
was damn unbearable =,="
my whole leg damn sour pain!
and yet i still maple til mornin 5plus
lolx..dang! =X
anyway 6plus we left the gym
took bus to lot one
went to have dinner
ordered 2porridge
we 3 shared,and one dessert each
then from lot one,
we walked back to sanjie house
lolx..watched tv til 10.30
then chit chat downstair til 11plus
haha..then reach home shower
12plus started maple =,="

man..can only rem abt thurs
lolx..
cant tink of anythin to say for fri
=X hahahaa..
anyway fri had my massage!
oh ya,on thurs morning
when i remove the cloth
i weigh,less 2kg man!! ^^
so damn happie..haha..
last week whole week,
other than thurs tt evening
i nv take dinner sia.. =X
tues coz by time yoga finished
8pm alr..so dun wan eat..
pei sanjie and a frenx go eat tho
>.<" i ordered chinese tea
and watched them eat..zZz..
wed is coz by time massage finish
8plus le..lolx..dajie got cook actually
haha..but never eat also..went to slp..
thurs had,fri..also never..
maple maple maple..lolx..
12plus had maggie mee
before massage that's all..
haha..then sat..hmmx..
7.30pm dajie asked wan maggie
so i said cook for mi also lorx
but end up ate few mouths only
haha..threw all away! =X
for sun which is ytd..
hmmx..also never eat..
aftn aft treatment
went erjie house had lunch,
they cooked porridge, enoki,
fish, and fried prawns.
i ate more of enoki and fish
haha..then tt's all i had for the day
lolx..reached home 5pm le..
went to rest..then slept til 8plus
if not sanjie came,
i sure cont slp de..zzz..
10pm wanted slp le
but fred ask mi maple
end up..tink 12plus then i log out
today damn tired sia..dunno y
lolx..just now had fish head tomyam
damn full..haha..hmmx..
sianx..sleepy!! =X

~rEgrEts~

2008-08-20T10:20:00.002+08:00

i reali thought..
he's the best thing
that is happening to mi on earth
but yet why
didnt i bother to cherish in the first place
why is it that
only when facing heartaches
then you know that
you truly loves him
but yet when its all just too late

i reali cant walk away
when the pain keeps calling
and reminding mi of the past
with tears rolling like nobody biz
and heart aching like its dying
when then can all this pains stop
when then can the memories fade
til then, its just so hard to let go

i have never wanted to let you go
but yet there's nothing i can do
my heart was dying
so all i can do was just to give in
if times allows and situation allows
all i ask for is just one more chance
to let you know howx much i reali love u
i gave all i could and all i can
might not be the best in the world
but indeed it's still the best i could
but yet nothing is ever enough for u

times passes and we get older
but still here i am, tearing for you
thinking of you and having you
running thru my mind like racing horses
woke up each day thinking of u
cried to sleep every nitex, missing u
heartaches are forever
JUST SO PAINFUL

2008-08-20T08:53:00.002+08:00

well well..
hmmx.. sighx..
never expect...
to meet him in maple again
sighx..why did he ever come to find her
why in the hell appear in front of mi
when i login val cleric
i saw guild list
saw he played wolf..
alr feel a lil heart pain
then suddenly..poof!
he appeared!
shocked mi!
i thought i see wrong?!
i thought he look familiar?
sighx..couldnt sleep..
cried?! for?! nothing!
haha..well..dunno..
just couldnt control i guessed
hmmx..that's wad im afraid of
things just happen..
when u least expect?
that's y woodlands and dohby
is still my forbidden area!
but ytd heard he's stayin at popo place
which means.. tiong bahru? haha..
sighx..sianx..no mood..zzz..
was happie mapling..
for few mths alr..
then suddenly..ytd he appeared
sighx..just reali wish..
i can just lose my memory la..
i reali wish to rem him no more!
im tired of getting sad and crying..
ppl alr dun even bother abt mi..
heartache for other gal..
wad for im still crying for him rite?
sighx..i think even in times..
when i let go alr..i still cant see him
haha..coz i will just feel the pain..
and sadness in mi and cry again..
please!let mi see him no more!
best if i could just forget that..
this person exists!!
sighx..dun reali mean..
to blame deardear de..
sighx..just..hmmx..
dunno..
think she's the only frenx of mine
still in contact with him..
sighx..tired..
not saying dun wan them b frenx..
but..just get him away from mi?
please anyone..or everyone..
dun mention his name in front of mi
ever again can?!
i mention = nvm
but u ppl mention = CANNOT!
=X
if i purposely try to dun say his name
means im forcing myself to forget
which is actually the wrong way!
the more u try to force
the harder u can forget =,="
so..let times brings his memories away
but u ppl as frenx mention..
means..
reminding mi of him?!
haha..so cannot.. lolx..
yupx! =D

when will this river
of tears stop falling
where can i run
so i won't feel alone
I CANT WALK AWAY
WHEN THE PAIN KEEPS CALLING
i just got to take it
from here on my own
BUT ITS SO HARD TO LET GO

2008-08-19T15:38:00.002+08:00

well well..during my last blogging
somehowx i went to read feb entries
then saw abt sunshine sms and calls
omg..then started to feel..i miss him!!
haha..miss the times..he asked mi out..
argh! =X
if only at that time i slim a lil..
LOLX =X
last week was still telling deardear
i miss sunshine la.. lolx..
and sat when i forward sms..
he replied a :)
haha..long time nv receive any sms
from him alr.. lolx..so i asked howx him
we sms a few?
reali a few tho sighx..
think he replied 3 or 4 nia..
EEK!! i missed the times la
we sms alot..he asked mi out
haha..sadx!!
nvm..still waiting for the time
i slim down? then i will ask him out =X
LOLX.. dunno when tt will be haha..
i had been saying this for mths =X
lolx..haha..hmmx..ytd went to see doc
the doc super nice and sweet..
likes her alot man!! haha..
then she spent alot time talkin to mi sia
reali alot =,=" teach mi the rite way
to slim! ahahahahaa... =P
so i must reali work hard this time ^^

oh ya..mi and deardear got a new di
on maple abt two weeks ago..
haha..cute and nice..
exchange contact with him last week
hmmx..ytd then realised..lolx..
we so near nia.. =,="
when i heard he stay cck i abit surprised liao
so ask which part..then he said teck whye lane
i was like.. diao.. =X
then ask him wad block..omg..
haha.. less than 5mins walk nia
lolx..funnie sia..maple so long liao
1st time found someone so near
haha.. ^^

2008-08-16T10:00:00.002+08:00

im feeling..sadx?
can someone tells mi y
im feeling damn moody
can someone tell my y too
sighx..or maybe even bett..
tells mi howx?!?
howx to stop!!
tell mi solutionS!
sighx..was kinda bored just now
so go read some frenx blog..
saw tis old frenx of mine's
1yr plus nv blog alr..
saw her past posts..
she got the best angel
no other guys could compare
but she let him go..
hmmx..sometimes..
reali dunno wad humans thinking..
howx all the gals would wan a bf like tt
but yet..for no particular reason..
she let him go.. sighx..so sadx..
humans..that is..
ARGH!!
sadness and moody-ness!!
get aways from mi!!!
ARGH!!!
sobs!
been like a week since..
i start feeling moody?!
and the pain in the chest?!
sighx..dun reali wanna..
talk abt it to anyone..
dun wan them feel i fan..
so long le still holding on..
still feelin wad pain la!
sighx..im sure they r tired
of hearing mi sayin it also..
sighx..but..times..
reali wish there is someone..
who can simply just give mi a hug
and tells mi its alrite to cry..
just cry... sighx..tired..
if god u r fair..
i pray..
all i pray and want..
is tt u can bless mi..
with a more happie mi!

you are forever in my life
you see me through the seasons
cover me with your hand
and lead me in your righteousness
and i look to you
and i wait on you

i will sing to you Lord
a hymn of love
for Your faithfulness to me
im carried in everlasting arms
you'll never let me go
through it all~~~

~jEsUs l0vEs mE~

2008-08-15T14:08:00.000+08:00

Jesus loves me this i know
for the bible tells me so
little ones to Him belong
they are weak but He is strong

if a child can understand
that Jesus' love is real
my friend i cannot comprehend
the reason that you fail
to feel the love that Jesus has
to die for you and me
when all you need is simple trust
and a childlike faith to see

Jesus loves me this i know
the bible tells me so
i've sung this song so many times
but still i never know
what did He ever see in me
for all He has to give
to give His life at Calvary
that you and i will live

will you ever see
His blood upon the sand
can you never feel
the nail prints in His hand
if you only knew
the love He has for you
like i know that Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me this i know

still you do not realise
why tears are in my eyes
i cried because i know the cause
my savior sacrificed
yes Jesus loves me this i know
the bible tells me so
but words alone can never tell
the pain He came to know

will you ever see
His blood upon the sand
can you never feel
the nail prints in His hand
if you only knew
the love He has for you
like i know that Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me this i know

yes Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me
yes Jesus loves me
the bible tells me so

2008-08-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

there is none like you
no one else can touch my heart like u do

recently tv keep show ad on tis cd
then always hear these two lines
hmmx..few weeks back
went lot one with erjie
her car playin christian songs
heard one of my fav song
automatically i sang along
wow miracle i still can rem lyrics
ytd heard these two lines again
somehowx got these urge in mi
i wan to feel god again
i wan to be touch by him again
i wan to cry out
i wan to have someone hugging me
telling mi just cry..
i miss the past..im tired
really very tired..
these might not be the life i want
i guess...
just now on cab to work..
thoughts ran thru my mind..
lots of thoughts..
howx come time seems so not enuf
or was it mi who didnt make use of it
didnt use it to the fullest?!?
everyday aft work go home..
watch one hr tv, play game..
and gosh..time to slp..
next day..same..wake up go work
home, tv games..slp......
just now suddenly felt..
hmmx..so tired.. =X
all i do is games..slp..work..
i dun wan...wth did i go back maple
now like so dun bear to stop..
fuck! this year is comin to an end soon
gosh! so damn fast..and..
im still the old mi?!?!
nothing change?? when i claim that
i will change by this year?! OMG!!
sighx..so tired..dunno wad m i doin anymore
deardear..wth u give birth..if u nv..
we can stop bored-ing at hm with maple only
we can meet out..go out..make full use..
enjoy our life..sighx..wish boss..can..
hurry sign mi up for course..
time just passes too fast..
too fast to catch up..i really need to..
change and buck up!
wish can strike one lottery..
lolx..just one.. to pay off all debts..
then i can work hard with my mthly pay
tired of paying debts..arghx..
stupid mi..last time so insensible!
hmmx..wish..and wish.. lolx..

a pure heart, that's what I long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee
a pure heart, that's what I long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee

a heart that hides Your Word
so that sin will not come in
a heart that's undivided
but one You rule and reign
a heart that beats compassion
that pleases You, my Lord
a sweet aroma of worship
that rises to Your throne

a pure heart, that's what I long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee
a pure heart, that's what I long for
a heart that follows hard after Thee

2008-08-14T10:07:00.000+08:00

WAHX!! period come..sianx..
pain..slpy..moodless.. =X
anyway ytd boss surprised mi
haha..when abt to go home..
i let him sign my leave form..then..
suddenly he said..i had mention to rb
abt the course..wadever de..
then i was like..tot u forgotten alr.. =X
haha..surprised coz..1st..i reali tot..
he forgotten all abt it le as..
nv mention anymore abt it le..
2nd..tt time i was joking nia when i said
ask rb go study tt course also =,="
end up..he serious wan mi and him go tgt =X
he said..like tt u guys wont be bored..LOLX
weird..and..funnie..lolx..haha..oh..
and ytd tt pig took transport home haha..
hmmx..these few days sue not in..
he like nth to do keep call mi and tcss.. =,="
haha..funnie one la he.. F3~
one more weird thing..ytd auntie dunno y
suddenly said..heard u got bf liao grats
WTH?? >.<" i asked who say.. she say
cannot say later she kena scold? wth lorx
like so childish..zzz..as if i so bo liao..
go scold tt person.. =,= just wanna knw
who nia ma..zzz..i guessed rb..
but auntie said no
but who she also say no de la.. f3~
before tt in morning..talk to rb..
somehowx he also mentioned dao i got bf
ask mi howx long alr.. =,="
weird.. =,="""
wahx..pain la..sobs.. ='/

FM883 reali plays alot love songs man..
love songs that reali kills~
songs that reali bring back memories~
sighx...

please give mi one more try
for the sake of our love
let's give it one more chance
coz i cant give you up..

love...is just sooo fragile..
when in love..can say til hiong hiong
howx love and howx cant do w/o u
but when it changes heart..
all it needs is just a sec..
and wadever so call so much in love
all r nothing but history..
that's is love?!?
i thought..true love..
shouldnt be like this..
i always believed..if reali so much in love
howx can say forget jiu forget
howx can say no love jiu no love le??
sighx..humans..that is..
sighx..

2008-08-13T10:35:00.000+08:00

dunno why..im actually still thining abt it..
thinking abt the break off..
thinking abt the times..
i tried to salvage the rs..
the times..we r no longer tgt
but still tgt..sighx...
tinking abt him tinking abt mother..
sighx..dun wanna think..
reali dun wanna think..
but..somehowx..my mind..
is not under my control..
recently these few days will keep think..
our last msn chat..was few days aft his bday
initially i was surprised at..
howx i could actually talk to him
and still feel alrite..but somehowx..
ending shi..start to cry out.. haha..
i also told him that i tink its bett for mi
not to contact him at all..so i will del him
from everything..ask him to del if he wan also
ya..del from friendster and msn alr.. =)
but dunno wads wrong..these few days..
like keep non stop having him..
running thru my mind.. sighx..
alr one yr le..why am i still tinking man
stupid..woman.. foolest creatures on earth!
sighx..WHEN THEN WILL I SLIM
felt reali so useless man..
argh!! no determination at all de..
i wan to slim argh!!i must!!
tis time round must succeed!!!
but.. yet.. argh!!
still give in to temptation..
desire for food!! argh!!! =,="
howx..promised moon to do it man
but..moonie..sighx..deardear.. sobs..

when will tis river of tears stop falling
where can i run so i wont feel alone
i cant walk away when the pain keeps calling
i just got to take it from here on my own
BUT ITS SO HARD TO LET GO!!

2008-08-09T02:43:00.000+08:00

w0w..l0ng time nv blog..
a mth le..eversince i busy with maple
no time slp dun say blog..lolx..
tired..haha..quite alot happen? =X
two weeks ago wanted blog de..coz..
a veri great day for mi..but ended up..
NEVER!! =X
lolx..anyway lazy to repeat any story..
so nvm..haha..in short..
he is back to work with us ^^
happie.. ^^
oh ya..2weeks nv login maple also..
went private server..haha..
been rejectin to go private de..
but end up.. sighx.. dunno..
eversince wedding..
panda nv talk much to mi le..
in fact..now we dun talk at all?
each time i login..all i had is..
hi pandadear..
lolx..tt's all? and tt's it!
somehowx..get sadx and disappointed..
then made mi miss dar alot..
so sms him..then..ya..like tt lorx..
tt's howx i ended up joinin maple ps
haha..today read thru those sms
panda sent mi..hmmx..sadx..
haha..and weird.. =X
dunno why also..suddenly we..
just dun talk?unlike last time..
bicker and joke..
funnie sia..i also dunno why F3~
but it makes mi sianx to login..
tot of train my simplelove..
equals to no strength..
been stuck at lvl 71 for weeks?
sighx..im veri easily affected in maple..
i can coz of someone..very into it
and also can coz of someone..totally dun touch
hmmx..initially went back coz of dar
but when his acc tio ban..
sumhowx coz got tis guild..i stayed on..
then coz of panda..i enjoy loggin in..
then coz of our marriage..i chiong lvl..
and now.. F3~
coz of him also..i no mood login at all =X
2weeks nv login also nv sms mi
F3~ sadx.. hahaha...
anyway today had tis one day course
tele etiquette & cust svc..
fun and not bad..lolx..dunno y
the instructor sumhowx kip te gan mi?
lolx..and he likes rb alot too hahaha..
funnie la tt rb =X
certain parts we luff til tear sia..
my boss luff til take tissues =X
haha..not bad la.. ^^
well seems like alot to say..but
dunno wad to say..haha.. ^^
oh ya..i wan go buy this book
the secret?today he showed us
one video..hmmx..i find it nice..
as in i find the purpose of the book
nice! and meaningful ^^
the video he showed us was not..
show or anythin.. =,="
is the author and some rev?
their talks..wow..great man!
i must learn to think good ^^
and feel good!! ^^
moonie..iloveyou ^^
deardear..love ya lots =X
haha..

2008-07-07T13:31:00.000+08:00

oh ya..and also..
sat went jb with moon..
we reached there abt 1pm
wahx..alot ppl at the lady house
so we do til 7pm? lolx..
the lady very kind and nice
pretty also..haha..
she drove us go makan..
treated us zhi cha..
then aft tt drove us go Jesco
shop shop..then drove us back to CS
hmmx..omg..i reached home almost 12am sia
i rush to mobil to buy ppc =X
then login maple..buy the couple ring
heehee..so damn cute =D
then 12.30 i logged out..
go jb again =X to eat lok lok
heehee..i love it~~~
hahaha..i reached home 4am le sia
i buy 2x then chiong..
7am finally lvl..
then slp awhile..10.30 woke up
continued chiong..he very nice
come pei mi train..then..
when i wan go makan..
he ask mi go subway afk
he train mi..omg.. ^^
lucky i buy back..nv eat out..
coz i come back i saw..
my char dropped to the ground
haha..then he very poor thing...
keep got to come back see got mob ma
cannot go far..haha..
hmmx..4pm then i finally lvl =,="
sadx la..hahah...then he log out rest
travis helped mi play i go cook..
coke chicken..dajie wanna eat.. =,="
oh ya..talkin abt tt..
i tried the new recipe coke chicken
not bad but nothin much la..
but my most happie one is..
i tried cookin vinegar trotter
and kidney soup..omg!!
so damn nice! =X
i knw..buay bah rite..
say my own cookin nice..
but deardear and moonie
also said very nice!!! so happie~
i love it~ haha..i love the kidney soup
lalala~~ now i knw howx to cook..
good.. =DDD
oh anyway continue my story..
sobs la..9pm then i finally lvl again
zzz..aft tt chatted too much..
nv train much..sianx..i logged out shi
only like 40%? sighx...
i wanted lvl 55 by the time i log out de
sianx... =X

2008-07-07T13:21:00.001+08:00

ohhoo..my maple char getting marry
lolx..but not with my maple dar =,="
tt guy mia liao la..tired of him also
always like that..promised wont mia de
haha..but nvm him..
my simplelove goin marry panda
haha..actually whole thing quite funnie
somehow one day
we were talkin abt the marriage thing
then he said the ring will +3 to all stats
i was like so good?i also wan
then he say u marry mi lorx u pay
i was like..zzzz..then he say ok half half
haha..then aft tt i asked..if divorce le
the ring jiu no more arhx?then
arch say ya..then he was like..
wahx haven marry jiu tink of divorce
i dun wan u le..lolx..hahaha..so funnie
then aft tt nv say much le..i also tot
kiddin only..coz we just talk talk ma
so got one day travis go find him
then he pei travis play..i was like..
hor hor u pei him play also nv pei mi
then he say i nv login
but i was like even i login u also nv pei mi
then he say coz he mcing ma..
ya la..still dare say i nv login haha..
then he say wait for him get the necklace 1st
then i kiddin say ok..
when u done liao u pei mi train
then we get the ring..
haha..i kiddin only..
then the next time i login
he pm mi.. wanted ask u
so the weddin howx?
lolx..i was like..huh?
haha..then i say anythin..
ohhoo..jiu shi like tt lorx..
funnie rite?haha..then
we decide coming sat weddin
heehee..but he dun wan tell guild
who the bride..so i pei he him lorx
haha..so funnie.. =P
ytd he pei mi train..also..
1st time he call mi dear..lolx..
i almost wan pengx.haha..
so not use to it..
used to hear him call mi val
i call him panda..lolx..
i told him i cant imagine sat..
coz..everyone lookin forward to see
pandagalz =,=" faint..
i was like..im simplelove..gosh..
ahaha..tho like reen say..
maple marriage only..need so big deal?
hmmx..but still..
im happie and excited abt it =)

2008-06-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

tired sia..today went out whole day also =,="
went out at 11.30am..
reached home abt 11pm =X
lolx..never expect will come home so late
hahaha..but great la..we shall meet out more..
went sentosa with ec,yan,nana,xc & xc frenx
stupid xc late!! angry..made mi waited an hr
at je station sia..sat there for an hr like wad..
sighx..but lucky ok la..i nv scold him or anythin
if not spoil the day..heehee..
nana very cute..she tot go beach..
she wan go sun tan..end up we say nv..
she almost wanted faint..haha..
but then..she brought so much thing le
so we pei her sun tan awhile lorx..
mi ec and xc sat one side talk..
heehee..after that we walked around
took some pictures.. =)
then we did air spray tatto lolx..
one on the back of neck and one..
on the rite side of my front lolx..
but she put too high le la..
not nice =,="
then wanted go under water world
but xc gtg le..sadx.. =X
so mi ec yan nana go ourselves
smelly.. =X and packed!!
sianx..cannot stand it haha..
somemore..packed with..ma lai ren
ehh..nono..wrong is yin du ren =,="
gosh..almost suffocate inside.. =X
then after that we went vivo
eat long john..lolx..everyone tired..
but still.. =,=" shop around abit..
haha..til about 10pm then go off..
they took train i took 188 hee...
happie to see them today man!
but sadx..not goin see xc anymore
sighx..less one person to dote on mi
lolx~

2008-06-29T02:55:00.001+08:00

wow..today is reali a pampered day
ahaha...ytd went steamboat..
with moon,pras,reen,pinky, avan
hmmx..aft that i went moon house
then this morning 10plus woke up..
went eat wanton mee downstair
then i went home she go work..
reached home 1st thing..
check acc..wohoo~
salary in liao..wahaha..
went downstair..
do my under arm waxing
and whitening mask..hee..
then bought one whitening toner
to tone under arm =X
after that..went cine to find moon
hmmx..3.30 we got appt for brazilian
ohhoo..excited..hahaha...
well..still ok..coz.. =,="
mine not so much =X
moon jiu pain daooo siao.. lolx..
then bought one whitenin serum =x
aft that we took cab rush to holland
for our mani and pedi..end up..
actually no need rush =,=" faint
haha..coz the mani pedi is one man show
so waited very long..pras and her cousin
also there..so 4 of us.. =X one lady =X
lolx..by the time finish 9plus liao!!
took cab home..reached hm abt..
10pm..gosh..nv eat dinner..haha..
login maple..was super hungry inside..
panda keep ask mi go eat i dun wan..
so late liao =X then i from 12plus
say wan go off liao etc..
til almost 3am..lolx..then panda was like
he bett go off if not i wun.. faint..
haha..so i slept aroung 4am.. ^^

2008-06-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

hmmx..actually planned hao hao
wanted buy bday present
for him and his mother de..
even plan hao hao with moon
pei mi shop then on sat..
go sheng siong find his mother de
but, today went the makeup class
wanted buy so many products
then i start to wonder..is it worth
haha.. then i asked moon..
moonie said..actually..alr break
no point etc... hahaha..
then josephine tell mi sth
which woke mi up..
she said..u buy present for them
they wun feel u good gal..
rather, they will think..
y u keep perstering.. =X
sadx sia..then i decided not to
haha..half of mi reali wanted so much
to buy one last present for them
but half of mi selfishly want to
buy things for miself.. lolx..
anyway jospehine dun let mi buy
she say..u bett dun buy for them horx
if not i abish u..save the money
pamper urself..hahaha.. =D
so..final decision will be...
buying things for MYSELF!!
hahahahahahahahahahaha..

2008-06-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

omg..cant imagined i worked til so late
plus im actually sick !!!
sobs...mon actually went mc..
then tues i worked til 10.30pm sia
reached home about 11pm..
argh.. was reali struggling while working man
damn sick lorx..head pain like hell man!
keep on applying medical oil =x
even sms moon and deardear help!!
lolx..reali cant tahan..but..sobs..
cant go home until i finish keying
sad la..keep scolding that pig =X
sighx..miss him la actually..
even dreamt of him on tues morning =,="
but in dream, we also quarrel lolx..
hahaha.. today worked til 8pm...
tired..tot can go back early..
then when 5.15pm like that..
i see works keep coming in
so i ask..i go home 5.30 or later
she said..after 5.30 laaaa....
lolx..bo bian.. sianx sia.. =x
they also nv say anythin abt
my confirmation...eek!
damn angry la.. =x
sianx..just now met moon..
haha..we really meet 3x a week sia
almost la..hahaha..
hope wont suddenly fade off =x
hmmx..she say tml go steamboat..
but i got the class lei..fri u cant also
haha..oh ya just now reen called
ask if wanna go geylang makan
but moon mai..she tired..
feel bad to reject reen sia..
i miss my chou chou sobs!!!
hmmx..sat meeting moon again
heehee..she said..
skali dun need sat..tml jiu meet liao
hahaha..lets see ba.. =D

2008-06-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

wow, so long nv played maple
til morning liao.. =X
damn tired.. =X
never sleep then go work
gosh..ended up i go work
like never go like that..
coz never do anything much
as i keep doze off like hell liao.. =x

then after work,
went for treatment..
even when she talkin to mi
i dozed off sia..lolx..
then slept in steambath worx..
lolx..but think the heat quite high =x
plus i nv slp nv eat
cum my stomach recently not veri good
wow..i start to feel unwell..
last few mins i cant tahan
i stop steaming and open the glass door
when finally stop..i tot faster shower
then leave de..but omg..i cant move
feel so much like vomiting..
lucky after a min or so, the gal came in
to see everythin ok ma..
then i tell her i feel like puke
she asked i nv eat arhx..
then she shouted faster take a plastic come
serious..urgent... lolx
then suddenly one by one they come in see
then when i sit up, i felt so giddy..zzz..
then they took towels dry mi and wrap mi
brought mi to the facial bed rest..
fed mi sweet and 'tang shui'?
i slept for half an hr before i get up
haha..so paisei sia.. =x
everyone also see mi liao =x
keep come in ask if i ok ma.. lolx..
then when i wan leave, the manager
even asked if anyone pickin mi up
lolx..i wish i have =,="
sighx..i got no one to la..
not so good life..haha..
even i die there..maybe no one bother =x
hmmx..sianx..didnt know that..
nv eat go treatment will die de worx..
but life is like that..
the time is not up yet
jiu shi not up..
wont die de.. =)

2008-06-15T13:02:00.001+08:00

w0w..
cant believe i actually will do this
go down espcially to find moon
the place i dont like to go
the time i dont like to go out
and somemore im alone!!
l0lx..i told moon..its a miracle man
l0lx..she should be honoured haha..
went out on fri nitex 9pm
went down cine to find her off work..
which is like..11pm? l0lx..then
we had drink at gloria jeans..
then took last train to her home..
reached her house i think..ehh..1plus?
forgot..then talk cock sing song
waste a bit of time..finally 2plus
she went shower =x
3am we went her bro room
watch supernatural..haha..
4plus she said tired liao..but
was halfway thru the show..
so its like..they see i wanna watch
we finished the one we watching
before we pack up back to her room..
end up..we lied down..talk and talk
7am then finally slept.. ahaha..
she geng mc.. =x nv go work..
11am her boss called then we woke up..
after that, we shower all these..
think at about 1pm..then finally we got out..
went westmall for sushi..thanks gal... =)
after lunch, we went her mei house
play monopoly l0lx..the game i dun like to play
haha..think we reached her house abt 4pm?
played til like 5plus..no more greentea
so sky and wh went westmall to buy
mi and moon stayed home to guard lolx..
after they came back..they cooked..
prata, sausage, waffles, scrumbled egg,
and a lil of 2types kimchi..
i always tot i dun like kimchi worx..
but the cabbage one nice..
yummy !!! =P
after eating, i washed up the dishes..
then we continue our game..til like 7pm?
then we cleared up, rest a lil..
then 8.30 or so we left her place..
haha..one more hr plus..moonie..
i spent 24hrs with u le.. hahaha.. =P
1st time i spent the nitex at frenx house..
1st time i slept at a frenx bed worx.. =X
hahaa..anyway think im reali addicted la..
esp since i do the way reen taught..
omg.. =P i love it~~~~
lalalalalala...hahaha..
ytd maple til 4.30am..heehee..
dar got mi the necklace sia..
before he wan log out, he asked mi to fm..
then drop mi and say gei ni de
haha..so happie.. =P
went mc with the guild..but..
i dun like.. =X i kill too slow..
sighx..so its like..the other pt is the strong one
but purposely let my team win so can lvl..
so he sit there see i kill..as the other mem dc
left mi alone to kill..then omg..
stress..i dun like..still prefer tt time
1st time mc with xl..lolx..and 2nd time de also not bad
ytd de reali sucks.. =X then i left the game
say dun wan play..he asked y.. i dun wan reply..
haha..the panda nice la..as in..
in the game he is nice =X
initially when i pm him say i wan mc..
he was like..tot u say dun wan mi =x
haha..i replied xl nv mc..he was like..
i dun wan be his spare tyre f3
haha..then i was like..oh..
my reply is mean.. =x hahaa...
but still he brought mi to mc..
haha...i miss rebels.. oops.. =x
sighx..sianx...

2008-06-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

who can tell mi wad to do
wad can i do
how shud i do?
tired..why am i so useless
always only know how to say
use mouth say
use mind think
but no action?
people met with big blow
will start to buck up
and work hard..
but mi?
a year passed
and here i am
still at square one
used mind think alot
mouth say ALOT
but..
action none!
why am i always so useless?
even til this point of time
even til i lost everything
even til the lowest already
why am i still the same?
idiot mi..
who can tell mi
how to make myself wake up
how to make myself buck up
ass..damn upset with myself
sighx..reali damn sadx..
tired..hated myself..
all i can say is tired..
but nothing..i also tired..argh!
idiot mi..slap mi man!!!! ARGH!
hate myself..reali hate myself..
sighx...

anyway today received a sms from him
i was like..wow he sms mi?
like a lil happie.. but when i read
chey..asked mi for kelvin num nia
lolx..sadx..sighx..nvm forget it
told myself to stop daydreaming
never possible for us also..
sighx..sianx..

2008-06-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

had a funnie dream..
not sure if its happie or sad one
i dreamt that he asked mi out
i dreamt that i agreed to..
i dreamt that i was so excited
getting prepared to meet him..
i dreamt til so real..lolx..
he called asking where am i
i was like..ehh..at home
about to go out..
he was like laughing then said
ok call you back in 2mins..
the feeling is like as though
he will be coming to fetch mi
since im still at home..
and i dreamt that...
i waited for his call...
waited and waited...
like no ending like that..
til my dream is over..
til i woke up... =X
sighx...so..
can anyone tells mi..
is this a happie dream
or a sadx one? =X

i misses him.. lolx..
yeah tml on leave..
but..
cant slp late also.. =,="
cant maple whole day also =X
im back into mapling
ohhoo~
got mi a guild..
an ex guild..
but not the one with him in it
ya..lvl damn low..arghh..
all the ppl in there..
lvl damn high..kaox..
im gonaa chiong sia.. =X
wanna lvl up and up and up!!
heeheee.... =P

2008-06-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

ytd went to meet moon & dear
aft last min decision
we watch 12am kungfu panda
damn funnie la..can luff til pengx!
can watch..esp if u need to relax
haha..ytd aftn..kind of break down
for nothing..but sista came back..
so is like..less than a min..
i stopped..but!!!
today..i cried for like half an hr?
lolx..for nothing..cried and cried..
felt like, been kinda long since i did..
so... ya.. =X felt so useless..and tired..
sighx..everytime i cried..til the point
very serious type..i would sure
call out deardear..haha.. =)
everyone's crying..deardear is..
moonmoon is..sighx..i cant do anythin..
sighx..im veri tired..all of a sudden..
im veri tired again..and..wanna give up..
wth am i doing?!
on surface..i seems doin bett than used to..
recently been going out at nitex
to meet moon and deardear..
which i usually dont do so..coz..
i nv like going out too late..as in..
i dont like step out of house too late..
i dont mind coming home late but
i dun like meetin too late..dunno y
but tt's mi..so last time..
everytime go out too late..
i will start throw temper..which now
i think back..i felt so stupid!
sighx whatever... hmmx..
why am i thinking again?!?
arghh..idiot mi..
oei! wake up! wth!!!

2008-06-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

today went weighbridge
to learn from rongbin his work
but end up,less than an hr
i went back office haha..
poor rongbin.. =X but he's very nice
hmmx..ya lorx..so funnie..
come and think of it..so weird la
normally we two talk always bicker de
today he so gentle like that
i so not use to it..haha..
well,coz think he see i not happie
so everythin also let mi..
normally i say hate him..
he sure will say seriously i nv ask u to like mi
but today..he nv say anythin..then
got one time i ignore him and look out
he asked..u reali hate mi arhx..
sighx..sianx..i tear out sia =X
dang! and he saw..arghh!!!
idiot mi..why my tears always roll so fast
sighx..was thinking,why miracles..
always nv happen for mi de?
i just wanna have a stable job,
but why must thing like this happen..
i just wanna be happie..but why...
sighx..kena dump already very sadx..
then why job also like that..
if only i nv choose to leave SH tt time..
sighx..then tear abit lorx..sighx..
but anyway..he reali nice guy la..
dun wanna him leave..
and see him talk i can laugh..
lolx..veri cute la he like xiao haizi..
which..reminds mi of him also..
sighx..sianx..nvm..hmmx...
please let miracle happen for mi~
please~please~please~~~

2008-06-03T13:14:00.001+08:00

the korean song because im a gal..
english translate...

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away
You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

(REFRAIN):

You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you, whoa

(CHORUS):

Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl
Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry
Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

(REFRAIN)
(CHORUS)

I loved you so
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be
I thought that you'd only love me
Into the night I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go
You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away
Never thought being born a girl
How I can love you and be burned
And now I will build a wall
To never get torn again-

hmmx.. i saw one mtv.. got one part is say
“please dun break the hearts of the gals,
who'll do anything for love...
i didn't knw that living this life
while being loved would be so hard"
for chinese de is "谢谢你曾经爱过我,
给我最美的经过,但生命最爱被剥夺,
未来的路该怎么走"
love tis part sia... haha.. anyway
chinese one so diff.. heex...
chinese one also not bad.. quite nice...

回家的路总是很远
话少得很可怜
一个人的晚餐
都是孤单的滋味
看见身边重复上演
属于我们的画面
选择逃避的眼
怎么还是会流泪

爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了还能用什么感觉

我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续

爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了还能用什么感觉

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走

2008-06-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

sometimes i enjoy busy days...

liks last sat, the whole day packed..

though might be tiring but kinda enjoy..

just that..ehh..exp la.. always will spend alot

like yesterday..hmmx..drag dajie and kelvin

pei mi go suntec..but before that..they need go

causeway to send hp for repair..well..as u knw..

causeway is my forbidden place! =X

so i told them to go ahead while i wait at home

then meet them cck mrt hao le..

i showered slightly earlier coz i scare no enuf time

hmmx..tot of put on some make up ma..hee..

well, end up..i completely done..they still waiting..

sadx..i damn bored..dunno wad to do while waiting sia

til i reali sibei sianx suddenly tot of sunshine..

everytime with dajie and kelvin i sure tot of him

so i sms asked if he wanna go dinner together...

with kelvin and dajie..lolx..then he called sia..

scare mi.. hahaha...i hesitate awhile then ans...well..

anyway he couldnt make it la coz his cousin marry

hmmx..he said next time still got chance.. lolx..

when i told moonie..she said ya lorx still got chance..

lolx..but i said..ehh ya..but wait for mi got courage

to ask him out again ma..lolx..then deardear scold mi..

y must wait for ur courage?cannot ppl ask u out mehx?

i said..even so..i sure will reject also again wad..lolx..

coz..i dun dare ma..hahaha..deardear cant stand mi.. =X

anyway,reach suntec abt like..5pm?yippee!!

bought my eesential oils~ haha..

gosh..spent quite a bomb man! sobs~

then went makan..they said go food court

but i dun wan..food court alot ppl

then need find seats wait for seats..

then need go buy food ourselves!

argh..then i said go crystal jade.. =X

end up..my treat?? pig dajie la.. sighx..

sads..no money liao sia..actually...

not suppose to spent a single cent =X

coz thurs kelvin treating mi to

crystal jade kitchen..then dajie said..

like this just now that meal no need pay le rite?

wth..60plus sia.. =X sighx..

then went carrefour find that promoter

kelvin bought 3bars choc from her too..

one for himself..one for dajie and one for mi..

lolx..i additional bought one too..then got this tibits

osyter mushroom..nice..i bought 3packets..also

bought one can omega milk powder..sobs..spent..

like..30?? omg!! then we went the wine fair..but..

we too late..no promoters liao..sianx..

but..then..haha..when about to leave..somehow..

we saw got a few la..then we went this section one..

ehh..dunno wad country also.. =X

got one angmoh lady..then show mi the sweet wine..

then ask mi try in seq..so she poured for mi..

1st one nice..3rd one sux..4th one yucks..5th dunno

BUT last one even nicer!ben lai tot buy 1st one

since not very exp..29..then who knws..

argh! shouldnt have taste last one man!

she said..the best of all..awarded too..so far

no wine has been award?hmmx..lolx..58 sia

hmmx..kelvin bought one 40plus..then..

when want go pay money..saw stopper..

one for 7.90..one set of 4 for 12.90?so i took

sobs..total 110.90?sighx..terrible mi..reali is..

a leopard never changes its spot..sighx..anyway

almost 9pm le so hurry home coz kelvin work 5am

then just reach mrt stn..moon asked if wanna go coffee

haha..end up i go her place drink..then 12am..

took cab rush home coz goin jb.. hehee... =P

reach home at 3am..4plus then slept.. haha..

today woke up at 9.30, then back to rest..

when i woke up to go toilet..i tot...mayb 10am only

WOW!! got a shock..already 12plus..hahahaha...

then i lai bed awhile while more..1plus 2 liao..hee..

so 2.30pm i hurry wake up shower etc..

then hmmx.. 1st time draw eye liner sia.. =X

not very nice tho..lolx..heehee..end up i late..

wahaha..half an hour.. =P

we went mos burger sat for one and half hour..

chit chat,drink milk tea and eat fries..

xiaochun paid.. =X lolx..

then while walking around..he asked..

xiaomei u wan buy clothes?then i kiddin say

u wan buy for mi arhx? lolx..then..

he said if u wan i buy for u lorx =X

then go shop, i see thing cute and nice..

he also asked u wan?wan i buy for u..

haha..nice kor la he..sighx but sadx..

he going back china liao..no more atm for mi

=X lolx..anyway nana reached at 7pm sia..

haha..we went swensons for dinner..

after finished eating..we sat there chit chat..

ben lai when order food, tot of eat ice cream

but somehow..was thinking go eat the fruits one

cheaper and healthier and nicer..haha..

so about 8.30pm or so we left swensons..

then saw this push cart.. somehow..

spent half hour there..haha..til the rest buay tahan

went into jp first..so left mi and xiaochun..

he paid..i buy..lolx..he keep ask still want wad..

u take lorx..haha..aiyax..but not very exp la..

no worries..heehee..but he reali very nice to mi

heehee..by the time we reached the ice cream shop..

9.45pm liao.. hahah..they closin soon..so no tables..

we sat at the benches outside the shop and eat..

reali happie to meet u guys today..finally man..

another 3mths it will be one year le..wow..

so damn fast..haha..time reali flies..sighx..

enjoyed my weekend.. =)

at least so much better than last time

whereby i always just rot on bed..

slp and slp and slp..reali can feel myself rotting..

haha..i tot i enjoyed rotting..but i realized that

i dont!!! haha..ya lorx..anyway its been kinda long

since i slp super long hrs sia..

past two weeks been going out busy meeting people

another previous two weeks was working part time

haha..ya..1st time man.. =)))

hope i can stop rotting.. =X hahaha...

shit..broke! howx!! howx to go out..omg~

2008-05-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

this whole week no mood to work
dunno why, very slack~
shit! the new guy to replace RB
dun wanna the job!!!
dang!! howx.. so sad now.. =X
sue finally asked daniel to confirm mi,
she said she will talk to daniel tml
abt pay increment thing.. lolx..
well, lets see if she rem.. coz..
this confirmation thing, she took...
about two weeks then finally rem..
hahaha..hmmx.. having a bad time..
with one of the colleague..
whom i quite good with..
well..didnt mean to make things turn out tis way
but.. just.. really meant well by telling her how i feel
sighx.. dunno.. if she really dun wanna talk to mi
then its ok.. coz.. im tired of listening too..
the way she talk.. more like grumbles..
and im seriously tired..everyday on transport..
sure grumble the same thing about myint!
sighx.. sarah also not like that.. gosh~
zaiton said.. she so young only..
why grumble so much..? i dunno..
feel sad for her..hmmx...

anyway... =DDD
im back to maple~~~
hahah.. maple dar went back..
so he sms mi.. ask if i wanna join him
well i made him promise not to MIA
then i went back.. heehee..
he very cute sia..hmmx.. but in any case
think i will only login when he's in..
like now.. he's not in.. so.. i never too..
lolx.. coz in actual fact, i already stopped
for like a year plus? no strength to play..
also no heart la.. just to play with him..
then i will login hahaha... =P

tml meeting moonie and deardear...
lalala..shit.. mi did something sinful today
hmmx.. cannot say out.. not sure who got c tis blog
so better dun say.. haha.. deardear know..
tml moonie will know.. lolx.. she also anyway
hahaha.. not mi alone.. =X we are addicted?
nahx.. i hope not.. haha.. anyway..
truly praying that my job will be great!
oh gosh, please give mi strength and heart
and determination to work better!!!
angry mi!!! just 2months and.. im sianx..
and slacking!! oh god!!! cannot!!!!!!
angry myself man!!! argh!!!
wake up!!! howx much longer u gonna waste!
argh!!! stupid woman!!! =X

2008-05-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

wow, so long nv blog already sia...
hmmx.. so much to say.. so much happen..
but.. lazy to.. lolx.. =X
never mind.. past is past.. no point blog =X
well, shall just talk about latest..

had a very busy day on sat..
morning woke up go for work..
after work, went je with joy
walk around for like half an hour? =X
then went suntec to find sherly
a new frenx i made while workin pt promoter
went break with her for an hr, then stood at
carrefour chit chat with her til 4plus
josephine reached liao come find me..
me and josephine each bought 3bars choco
haha.. then went window shopping..
walked past the faceshop, then she went in..
to buy her blush, then shun bian she want buy lip gloss
but the color she using no longer produces...
so she asked the gal to find similar one, then
after got one, she looked at mi then turn to the gal
for her skin color what color lip gloss suit her..
then asked to find one for mi.. =X
then i kidding wahx u reali wanna b my sis arhx
haha.. coz she always said.. i her sister also ma..
hmmx.. we shopped til 7plus then she hungry liao
so we went to look for her xin wang cafe..
haha...after eating, we chit chat for quite sometimes
then asked for our dessert... mango snow ice!!
wow,guess what?we finally finished it aft an hr sia =X
haha.. cold like what.. from toes to hand lorx.. =X
she treated mi.. hmmx.. thanks!! told her.. this sat
if she can meet again.. i treat her movie.. haha..
she very nice la..tho 8yrs age gap..but..we talked alot
she shared alot with mi too.. and tells mi alot...

anyway, was late in meeting moon reen & deardear
haha... paisei la.. coz chatting ma..

then i paisei say need go so ehh..

well..left at about 10pm sia.. haha..
so reached home.. hurry pack some stuffs,
washed my face.. then went down to bus stop
wait for reen and avan fetch.. haha.. =P
hp no batt sia.. auto off.. =X anyway...

so long nv drink.. haha.. loved it.. esp..
with u gals.. =DDD moon was saying..
wait for her mom go msia.. then we go over again
haha.. reen like cant wait for it la.. lolx.. =P
4plus we left.. avan came to fetch again.. lolx...
so sweet rite? reen.. u r so blessed la!! =)
cherish oh... hmmx.. moon dug out some ehh..
eye shadow and eye liner give mi.. =,="
initially i said dun need, i no use dun waste..
give ur frenx who got use la.. then tink she abit piss
so she said aiya shuang liao.. force is no use one...
then she dump all into the pouch again..
but dunno why.. after that.. deardear and her..
dug again.. =,=" deardear had.. already.. given mi..
ALOT!!! =,=" all kept and kept.. haha.. til they..
sianx diao.. haha.. paisei la.. hmmx.. ehh.. give mi..
ehh.. few more months.. lolx.. =X i like keep sayin
few more mths sia.. today sms with deardear..
talkin abt sunshine again.. then dear said..
asked him go out with u la.. i was like..
u knw i dun dare wad.. wait few more months la.. =X
hahah..anyway.. hmmx.. i like him.. hahaha...
lalala...i decided that.. i likes him.. =P
and also.. i decided that.. im letting go of past!
im serious.. and i mean it! now all i need is..
my determination!!! @"@
lolx.. so i can reali work up to slim down and be pretty
lolx.. i taking up a short beauty course...
teach basic skin care, make up etc.. =)
starting in june.. well.. that's y i keep say..
few more months.. coz i think the course can finish
by july or aug.. hoping by then i slim a bit too.. hehe..

i need strong determination! real strong ones!
hmmx..july is ur birthday.. and i decided..well..
to give u my last birthday present and blessing..
and from then on.. i shall delete you from my memory
and delete you from everything..coz now then i know..
we can never be frenx..i used to dont believe..
noel eva told mi..coz once so much in love,aft break
can never be frenx again.. i dont believe... but now..
i know it does applies to mi.. so i decide that..

in order to let go of past..

frenx no more then.. as.. a simple conversation

makes mi cry and heartache too..
even after so long.. half year already.. we didnt even
talk about anythin personal.. but.. im sadden!
so from that day on, i know.. i cant even be ur frenx..
so now im waiting for july..

to give you my last blessings..
and from then on, i shall free myself.. =)))

i will fight for my own happiness from now on..
i likes him.. and i shall fight for it.. lolx..
ya.. =D last chance for myself.. giving myself
another 3months.. by aug, i must ehh.. slim a lil..
lolx.. make up.. ehh.. dress up.. be prettier, be happy!
hahaha.. i know i can de.. coz i got my gals with mi..
deardear moonmoon and reenreen..
heehee.. i always said.. i cant do w/o u gals in my life
and i seriously mean it!!! =) *huggies*

~mY biRthDay~

2008-05-07T00:47:00.001+08:00

treated some good frenx to swensons

picture taken by swensons camera

was glad you people made it...

reali enjoyed myself that day...

i think one of the happiest birthday i had
or the very only happiest birthday?

not sure.. but can say rarely happy one!

=) was touched too.. coz...

i got the biggest chior in swensons that day

and im the only one with balloon!!!

haha.. love the balloon damn lots!

reali nice... =DDD

i witness another two birthdays there too

but maybe coz their is only 4people

so the 'chior' for them also small..

lolx..mine practically almost half the staffs

hahaha.. plus.. my frenx sang real loud =X

then also..reali, im the only one with BALLOON!

hahaha.. not sure why..maybe bigger cake purchased?

haha..also.. this year birthday presents....

are more than what i had ever received! =P

loved them...deardear and m00nie

bought a bag cum wallet.. thanks!

they are always never calculative or stingy
with mi.. thanks alot.. for always being there
for mi.. and with mi!!! =)

my dajie and kelvin also very nice..
they purposely went down to bugis
wanting to buy mi the doraemon drawers
and they had already planned for one month
but.. =X sadx to say.. they couldnt find the cart
so end up they bought precious moments one
one of it is musical de.. well.. 1st time in my life
i receive musical box thing.. thankx..
sadx that it wasnt from a boyfriend tho
haha...but still i like it alot~

reen and avan got mi on set of necklace with earrings
very cute.. angel de.. heehee.. thanks gal..
and thanks for always making the effort to join us
whenever we asked you out.. =D *hugs*

serser and irene got mi a necklace too.. heehee..
heart heart... lucky u gals 'asked' for my opinion
haha.. i like hearts! and cross.. but cross need choose
not all will draw my attention.. but heart easier..
ehh.. i dun reali lik diamond shape etc.. lolx.. =P
serser, so many years le.. u still the same..
not good at pretending.. or.. i knw u too well?
haha..too obvious la u.. lolx.. but thanks gals
for coming.. =)))

oh and well well..
dont forget the sport shoes erjie bought
and my W580 is paid by sanjie..
and also ang bao from parents.. =DDD
yupx yupx.. =) oh, & God gave mi one present too
on the sunday, just two days before my birthday
i saw him.. haha..its been like ehh...
3months since i last seen him.. miss him..
tho i wishing so much that on my birthday
i would invite him along.. but i failed..
coz i never slim down la.. sadx!
then that kelvin also wont auto.. =X
deardear also asked.. howx come he..
cannot pretend pretend talk to him
then say mehx.. so not auto.. haha..
well.. i tot so too u know? sads...
but never mind.. i still got to see him..
for the few mins.. =X still hoping for the day
whereby i would ask him out etc.. =X haha...

oh, and.. ehh.. he called deardear...

haha.. just a birthday greeting also need ask

whether should you wish mi? well.. but still..

thanks.. at least.. u rem.. not that heartless..

but frenx said.. just a greeting..means nothing..

no need be happie..ya i know.. just glad..

afterall.. ehh..dunno.. haha.. dunno wad to say

hmmx..oh and also.. got a few surprises blessing

like sherly from sec sch, lester - my band senior..

someone i liked last time.. haha.. we had been

like keeping in contact since sec til now..

but i think first time he wish mi man! lolx..

and also..aiko jie!!! =))) was reali happie la..

and surprised and touched! =)

bdAy ceLebRati0n with FAMILY!

2008-05-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

tReAted wh0Le fAmiLy t0 sAkUrA f0r mY bDay~

n0t bAd, w0rth t0 go... =)

at least my family enjoyed.. =)

the chocolate ice cream there nice!

and the durian puff!! super nice!!!

samantha love the durain puffs!!

keep wantin one after another~

and travis ate up the dorayaki

i took for myself to try.. =,="

super packed! lucky i ask sister book first

haha..when reached, saw queue somemore =X

spent like ehh.. $200plus.. not veri exp la..

want to go again !!! heehee...

after eating, went lot one with erjie

wanted to buy tigh for aerobics

then erjie fu buying her bracelet

for her coming birthday.. heehee..

she damn happie la.. heehee..

oh.. end up she still buy sport shoes for mi

THANKS!!! really happie.. was thinking

nvm la.. should still be thankful with

whatever you gave mi... =P heehee...

l0lx, 4candles so it took 4persons to blow

hahaha... xD

4th aPriL 2008

2008-04-05T01:30:00.000+08:00

w0w, the day i had been excited about..
haha..the 1st ROM i ever went..lolx..
hmmx..

aNd yEt tHe cOupLe wAs LATE!!
LOLX~
wE weRe aLL wAitiNg~~~

kEEp rEmiNd uS n0t t0 bE laTe
bUt, eHhHh... l0lx.. thEy Late!!
PLUS, l0st tHeiR wAy l0lx!!! =X

0Mg, 1st time hear peopl say "i do" in real
so0o damn t0uching.. my heart was t0uched!
envy man! =)

tHe cuTe smaLL liTTle cOupLE!!!