Wednesday 29 October 2008,23:20:00
WAHX!
so sadx!
3rd day nia!
kaox.
met moonie and pras
treat them dinner
so no choice.
must eat.
damit!
sianx!
hmmx..haha
funnie sia they
from jp we took train
then stood at the joint there
then when reach je
moonie walked to empty seats
i tot..only she blur cock
nvm.
so asked pras.
where she goin sia
BUT!!
pras followed her?
they sat down
even waved mi over
ask mi come come
i stood there blurred!
looked at them
reali innocent look
asked..ehh..
u guys..not changing train?
LOLX
then they OOPS!
jumped up and get out
luff til pengx lorx
ha!!
hmmx..
these few days..
kept sms frenx
arrange for meet up
lolx..like as if..
i dying soon.
no chance meet liao
if dun meet now.
haha..
hmmx.. =X
lalala~
Tuesday 28 October 2008,22:51:00
haha..trying out..
to see howx long i can tahan
=X
that time..w/o work
i only tahan a week.
so this time..
with work and water..
wanna see..
howx long i can tahan.
lolx...
if can dun work.
i sure dun wan =X
wanna rot like that time
totally dun do anythin
=X
lolx.
stupid i know.
that time i rot
i feel so OMG
told myself not to rot again
but yet..
this time..
i wanna feel the rot again
so much wanting!!
haha..stupid i know
anyway I AM!
haha..
hmmx..
today 2nd day.
hope can last longer?
LOLX!
today after work
climbed stairs!
was thinking
omg.nv eat.
still climb.
skali one day
i faint! =X
LOLX,
nvm.wait for tt day
to come 1st then say
haha...
ehh..anyway..
been wanting try
faint de feeling =X
hahahahaha...
Monday 27 October 2008,04:48:00
eyes swollen.
lolx.
dead.
haha.
lazy to talk abt wad happen.
anyway.
nothing to say also.
no point say.
argh.
ya lorx.
alot things.
no point say.
wtf.
why did i failed again.
fuck.
wth i said.
and cried in front of u.
fuck.
can someone just.
pronouces mi dead?
fuck la.
eyes damn pain.
nabei.
ytd 6am then slept
9am woke up.
go badminton.
then never slp.
til now.
argh!
can someone drink with mi
til i drop dead?!?!
fuck la.
argh.
no cig.
nabei.
wth is wrong.
fuck!
argh!
Thursday 23 October 2008,19:06:00
wow ytd del the past 2weeks sms
with that ah poh..
guessed what?almost 400 sia!
LOLX..meaning avg one week 200sms
hmmx..lot?or normal?haha..lolx..
i got no loss la..
my sms is totally unlimited free
wahaha..he..lolx..prepaid card =X
haha..oh ya..hmmx..
ytd super tired..coz reali damn busy at work
even skipped lunch..plus..
previous nitex maple with him
til 2am..then never slp well..
kept waking up..
so tot ytd wan slp early..
maple til 12am..
man..ren suan bu ru tian suan..
1plus daddy sms asked if i slp le
wahx!his sms super precious one lorx
missed tis one dunno nid wait howx long
then can get again de LOLX =X
so i asked him call..haha..
talked abt 2hrs..til 3plus
=,=" faint rite..
haha..when i 1st saw daddy sms..
1st tot was..
zao zhi dao i cont maple with u hao le
lolx..hmmx..told daddy abt it
daddy super upset..
scolded mi..heartpain mi..
haha..certain sentence tt touch mi
got once i luff..he said..
hear u luff like tis..
make mi even more heart pain
=) sounds..familiar..
but cant recall where..
but also..its a veri touchy word..
coz it tells mi..
someone reali can understand how i feel
and not looking at the surface (:
another one..daddy only want see u happie
then daddy can be happie..
haha..simple sentence..
but..still touchy =D
at least..
in this world out there..
there is one guy..
who truly cares abt mi
and not just making use of mi..
daddy wanted mi promise him one thing
but i never..
die die never promise him
he very sadx..i know..
i know he cares..but sorry daddy
reali dun wanna promise things that
i got no confidence of keeping..
dun wan.. i dun wan..
thanks daddy..for being such a..
great daddy..even we dun meet
haha..even tho..u called once
a few months.. =) love ya~
我睜開眼睛 卻感覺不到天亮
東西吃一半 莫名其妙哭一場
我忍住不想 時間變得更漫長
也與你有關 否則又開始胡思亂想
我日月無光 忙得不知所以然
找朋友交談 其實全幫不上忙
以為會習慣 有你在才是習慣
你曾住在我心上 現在空了一個地方
原來愛情這麼傷 比想像中還難
淚水總是不聽話 幸福躲起來不聲不響
太多道理太牽強 道理全是一樣
說的時候很簡單 愛上後卻陣腳大亂
Tuesday 21 October 2008,22:15:00
w0 dE mimi..
haha..a nEw bl0g of mine
haha.. =P
a blog..whereby..
i can write all i wan..
can write howx i feel..
like my personal diary..
heehee..hmmx..
hoo..tired..
dunno why..haha..
feeling abit..
kinda lost?
dunno..hmmx..
maybe 1st day of that la.
haha..thats why so damn tired..
lolx..been thinking alot..
omg..haha..howx then can i..
dun think so much huh..
haha..i dun wan so fast..
so many white hairs la..lolx..
hair alr soo lil.. >.<"
mai mai..i dun wan..haha..
i seems to be lost always..
even tho..times i tot that..
im veri clear..i knw wad to do..
hmmx..but then i realised..
i seems to be lost always..
haha..dun reali know..
wad i wan..dun reali know..
wad to do anymore..
my target of life..
seems to be missing always..
until im like so so lost..
keep losing my way..
feeling so lost dun feel good..
haha..coz reali dunno where to turn.
hmmx..so many things..
so little people to share..
hmmx..cant seems to talk to anyone
hmmx..in fact..almost like zero
haha..lalala...
wow..a new year is coming..
that's reali fast..
ohh..time passes even faster..
without you in my life?
man!
and yet..here i am..
LOLX..i seems to..
repeat the same thing always..
haha..dang!
when then i can stop repeat..
haha..that's the time..
when i reali changes..
hmmx..wish next year..
can be the time then..
haha..
dun wanna waste much more life
haha.. (:
oh let's see..
so what is my next year goal
>.<""
EEK!
this year..
i seems to accomplish none?
hmmx..let's see..
ehh..
hmmx..
=,="
reali none?
FUCK!
haha..
Monday 20 October 2008,20:48:00
since fri nitex..
nv go home til ytd nitex
lolx..then almost 2days nv smoke
ALMOST!!
wow..haha.. =D
hmmx..these 2days 2nites..
hmmx..well..dunno..
enjoyable..plus abit sadx?
haha..enjoy movie with u..
ehh..the kenji show..
not very fantastic tho haha..
but ok la..eek..my painted skin
=,=" end up still nv watch haha..
then..the back massage nice! =D
hmmx..that morning..hmmx..
something which i been hoping
u will do for years..and u never..
yet that morning u did..
hmmx..u dunno wad it means..
haha..u never will..
forever u never know wad i wan
howx i feel..hmmx..
u jux dunno wad ur action tt mrn meant
the way u told mi not to cry..
so gentle..
the way u sayang mi..
the way u hugs mi..
u jux dunno wad it means..
hmmx..u should have let mi go..
that morning..
you should have just let mi go home
and not pull mi and stop mi..
tho i was happie..
for the things u did that morning..
ya i was..
but..it was wrong..
it makes mi think too much..
even i said im not expecting anything
but..ur actions tt veri morning..
makes mi think too much..
too much...
too much til i have to keep reminding
and telling myself..
im not expecting anything..
im not suppose to think anything.
im not suppose to!
well..thanks for being so nice
and caring to mi these 2days
ya.. =)
i think i know..
what im suppose to do le..
tho i still wanna be ur frenx
as i said earlier on.. =)
oh ya..and..stop saying wad
trying to act jerk..
so i can give up all this shit
BLUFF!
i dunno howx to say..
but i can tell u..
u r lying!
and i hate it when u said that
even i dun believe..
but when u said that..
i just felt..
u dun trust mi..
still u dun believe mi..
like u never will..
never...
when i told u i love u
u dun believe..
when i said i will change
i will try my very best to
neither do u believe..
and one year later..
here im telling u..
i wanna be ur frenx..
still u dun believe mi..
u dun..u never do..
i reali just wan u to b happie
sighx..dunno wad to say..
haha..lalalala...
oh..my 9pm show start liao..
byebye...
Friday 17 October 2008,20:47:00
this year like keep having
people telling mi..
actually im not fat..
just upper too big..
see my arm, tigh not big also
=,=" hmmx..but so?
im still big sized right =X
still ugly right =X LOLX
oh ya..sobs sobs..
ytd i shi lian.. =X
lousy deardear..
dun wan an wei mi..
ur dear mi shi lian lorx!!
die die insisted not counted
lolx..who say not counted de..
as long tio reject is consider shi lian
=X
HAHA~
met moon ytd..
sat downstair chatted til 2am
then reached home..
talk with lousy woman til 4am
man! so malu..
on transport fell aslp is common
but..1st time i never wake up!
til everyone get down..
then woke mi up! =X
haha..later meeting them
ohhoo~
drink drink!!
haha.. =P
Thursday 16 October 2008,00:05:00
just now..
thinking about what we said..
somehow tot of this i asked u
before i go over to find u..
whether u and her an item
coz if yes its kinda weird..
i go find u..hmmx..
then u said..u r single now
hmmxbut anyway..
she went to find her ex also
hmmx..tho nothing much..
but..feel weird..ha..
and not reali nice =X
anyway..can i dun be ur ex?
LOLX..
can i be..ur frenx? =)
i dun wanna be ur ex..
haha..
i dun wanna be..
a ex clinging or
hoping to get back..
i just wanna be a frenx..
a real frenx..who can talk
go out, share ur problems..
hmmx..weird i know..
asking such a request..
ha..dunno why..
somehow just now just
suddenly..tot of it..
ya..i just wanna be a real frenx
a frenx u can talk to..
a frenx u willing to share ur prob
a frenx who once awhile..
can meet out..for meal..
for movie..for drinks..
ya..just wanna be a frenx..
here for you.. =)
wanna see you find your
true happiness..haha.. =D
jiayou k?
ehh..OMG!
haha..just previous post..
i was saying..
need to get out of your life..
and now i said..
wanna be a real frenx..
man!
that's mi..argh!
changes mind fast..shucks!
hmmx.. =,="
but no matter what it will become
all i reali wanna see is..
you be happie!
truly happie =)
man..so late le..
must go slp liao..
haha..nitex.. =X
yeah..fri come come..
can go drink =X
hahaha...
Wednesday 15 October 2008,18:49:00
想要幸福的笑容
就好像 名字写在沙漠
只要是 一阵微风吹过
轻轻松松 就把我的所有带走
走在黑夜的宇宙
看不到 哪里才是尽头
往前走 握紧还在颤抖的手
才能够 让自己不疑惑
想听你说 要紧握着执著
要带着我 那一年的悸动
那一刻的梦 那时候你总支持我
坚强往前走 你却不再左右
~谁能给我 一只神奇的锁~
~轻轻一开 就让寂寞飞走~
~好希望有人 教我怎么忘记伤痛~
~触碰 以为遥远的梦~
above typed myself one
not copy and paste de..
haha..is part of my blog =X
sometimes..dunno wad to say..
so use song to tells..
lolx..feel tis song lyrics..
veri good..coz..
reali like tells out all abt mi
haha..plus..nice song! =D
the 1st part is so true..
xiang yao xing fu de xiao rong
jiu hao xiang ming zi xie zai sha mo
hmmx..tells..
happiness is so hard to get..
but easy to goes..haha..
and love the last one..
who can give mi a miracle lock
with just a simple unlock
can let all the lonliness goes..
reali wish someone can teach mi
howx to forget all the hurts.. =D
haha..nice nice..hmmx..lalala..
wow..wed liao..tml jiu thurs..
yeah..weekend comin haha.. =X
ytd msn with sunshine..heehee..
1st time i see him type my name
...val... =X
haha..well..what he say..
can forget it.. =X
dun reali wanna talk abt it here
haha..hmmx..deardear..
dun so pig horx.. =)
im OK!
reali ok! no worries ok?! =)
dun think too much k?
love ya~ =D
Tuesday 14 October 2008,20:30:00
man!
super shag today..
haha..couldnt open my eyes
not sure is coz tired..
or coz i cried?
haha..ytd finally got drunk
=X
wrong day to tho..
haha..
and..argh!
did something i reali..
dun wanna to..
man!
cried and make noise..
dang!
feel so guilty..
sighx..caused him..
not enuf slp..
late for work..etc..
at work when thinking over it
i realised..argh!
last time also like that..
caused him late for work
then sms said sorry etc..
man! i suddenly felt..
things nv change..
hmmx..then i start to..
wonder and think alot..
maybe i should..reali..
just leave his world..
leave him alone..
reali scared..i will only..
make him fan..
make him miserable..
hmmx..
oh..and...haha..
tt poh..LOLX!!
said he likes mi?
faint!
haha..stupid..
hmmx..why cant god
give mi someone..
normal? =X
i told deardear..
if only is sunshine lolx..
haha..kidding..hmmx..
how then can i..
leave his world..
and stop bothering him
hmmx..his mother said
this week go over again
she cook for mi eat again
haha..tho i know..imposs
hmmx..he wont ask mi over
haha..then mother also got said
got time ask him go exercise
haha..hmmx..i was thinking
can go jog horx..
sanjie dun wan pei mi
can ask him go jog
haha..since he got fatter =X
lolx..hmmx..but..
ahaha..now..i'm thinking..
of what ways..can help mi..
to get out of his life..
and stop bothering him
haha..just wants him to be happie
hmmx..he said..he is happie..
so..its like telling mi..
i should get out already
isn't it..haha..
tho i was drunk..
but i rem wad we said..
hmmx..well..sadx..
haha... lalala...
Sunday 12 October 2008,21:09:00
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
紧紧相依的心如何 Say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管
只要你能愉快
我的爱 回不来
燃烧过的证据都还在
我的梦 怎麽办
你一直被放在最顶端
我的痛 化不开
还要我一个人好起来
想要你回头 抱着我哭
只是到最後 剩我在哭
为了昨天 我哭了...
为了失败 我哭了....
为了幸福 我哭了....
我在夜里面 无声的哭....
once again..
i did something stupid..
sonething i know i shouldnt do
something..i know will only hurts mi
hmmx..ytd went drink with poh
10plus he see mi home..
then i sat at bus stop..
hesitating to go home..
or go deardear house..
hmmx..haha..end up..
11pm i decided..
go home..
while walking back to my blk
i called daddy..
tot of find someone to talk
but he at gf place..
so i hung up..
hmmx..then..
dunno why..
i called his number..
haha..thought he's not goin ans..
well..about to go home..
then he called back..
haha..then i walked to..
the block beside mine..
and sat at void deck..
haha..then well..
dunno..haha..
hmmx..sighx..
told myself..
not expecting anything..
not wanting anything..
coz i always believed..
its nv goin be possible anymore
hmmx..but somehowx..
somethings..u said..
still hurts mi..
haha..
mother reali veri nice..
(:
hugs mi..all this..
haha..i told her..
we not tgt..u like her..
but she said..like ge pi
lolx..
then even when she left for work
at doorsteps..
she whisper to mi..
shake head..say no..
she dun like u..etc
like trying to tell mi..
jiayou?
dunno..but one thing i knw..
ur heart..is only filled with her
u let mi listen songs..
telling mi u learning to sing..
i teared..
coz..i know..
the songs are not for mi..
haha..stupid i know..
=)
i always wished..
you will miss mi once awhile..
like i reali do at times..
when u told mi..
sometimes..u did tot of mi..
well..i dun think..
that consider miss rite?
haha..sadx.. (:
but i know..
i shouldn't ask for anything..
haha..
neither should i pin any hopes..
deardear ever asked..
wonder...
if u ever regret?
i asked..regret wad?
she said..regret leavin mi..
haha..i laughed!
coz..
i always believed..
never!
never will you ever..
regret or miss mi..
haha..ya..somehowx..
that's what i reali believed..
"if you love someone
let them go
if they return to you
it was meant to be
if they don't
their love was never yours
to begin with"
i always believed that..
if i let you go..
you will never ever return..
haha..ya lorx..hmmx..
that's somehow what i..
strongly believed always!
reali wish to see you..
find your happiness..
maybe only then..
i will really leave your world
i guessed?
dunno..
hmmx..jiayou ba..
oh, and one thing..
im reali surprised..
that..
ehh..
you read my blog?
haha..ya lorx..
dunno whether..
i shud be happie..
or...hmmx..
dunno.. (:
Friday 10 October 2008,23:35:00
never go work for 3days?
wed dajie relapse..
sighx..1st time in my 23yrs..
i felt heart pain more than fear
from young..
all i feel is fears..
so afraid she relapse..
rem young..
i even cried til vomit..
too scare..
til when she regain conscious
she got to help mi clean.. =,="
hmmx..reali is 1st time..
i feel so heart pain..
see her like that..
was tearing when i holding her..
man..
is there reali no cure for fits?!!!
reali wish to find treatment..
she's poor thing enuf !!
ENOUGH!
sobs..
wish she can have normal life..
wish she can enjoy more
than she is getting now..
wish...
...........
...........
reali wish i could help..
but yet..
i cant..
i cant do anything..
and still i always make her sadx..
hate myself..
just couldnt control..
sighx..wish..god could be fair..
if i could..
gave up my life and happiness
(tho i got no much)
all to her..
i reali wish..to give her all..
in order to let her be more happie..
more xinfu...
hmmx..sigh..feeling veri sadx..
haha..
Monday 6 October 2008,22:04:00
ytd went drinking with prime ppl
zhiyi last day le..
hmmx..suddenly very miss him
lolx..haha..hmmx..
last week sms alot with tis guy..
hmmx..ytd at the drinking session
hmmx..dunno..haha..dun even knw
wad i wan say lolx..
well..maybe i think too much..
lolx..hahaha...
anyway..he's not reali..
the guy i would go for also
lolx..plus..he got 'wifey' le
hahaha..hmmx..well well..
forget it..stop thinking abt it
haha..stupid.. =,="
today no mood work..
haha..reali no mood..
no strength..
cant wait to go home..
keep dozed off also..lolx..
keep..thinking abt him..
weird..haha..maybe..
he's just too gentle..
that's y think of him
hahaha..few days later..
will stop le..
now zhiyi gone le..
doubt i will go prime much
haha..enjoyed going down..
talk to them.. =)))
but frenx there..
getting lesser and lesser..
haha..miss there..
missed the old frenx there..
in fact..enjoyed talkin to him too
quite nice guy la..
i assumes so..
hahaha..but..i think..
guys..hmmx..all same..
lolx..whatever..haha..
lalalalala...
Thursday 2 October 2008,22:29:00
wow..slept at 11plus ytd..
then woke up at abt 1.30am
and couldnt get to slp..
then..while tossing and turnin on bed
suddenly..
hmmx..
burst out..
hmmx..dunno why..
haha..scary..
i dun like..
tears and cried..
hmmx..5plus in the morning
then i fall back to slp =X
6plus woke up already..
after my superior sms mi
sayin she on mc..
sighx..super tired..
end up came home also nv slp
haha..had dinner..
then too full..so..
watched tv..
then sanjie came over..
initially is to borrow belt nia
then end up..
i got to turn my warerobe upside down
to find clothes to lend her..
zzz..then searched for nail polish..
chased her home to apply..
she die die wan apply in my room
=,="
told her 10pm le
time for mi slp
i still wan do mask!!
zzz..now then left..which is like..
10.30pm already..lolx..haha..
think i do mask all this..
again..11plus..dang.. =X
wanted do some yogo moves de
which can help to slp better..
but..now..i tink..
cant do le la..
haha..hope later can slp well..
hmmx..oh ya..just now..
msn with sunshine.. omg!
he got a new cat..
so damn cute..
tt day saw his display pic
already like tt pic liao
tot is just pic only so nv ask him
just now he asked if his cat cute
man!
so surprised..
haha..then he said..
the cat living in harmony with mickey
lolx..so sweet.. =)
i rem sanjie told mi..
a person who keep pets at home
are very patient, nice all this.. =)
MAN!
ate alot for dinner!
fuck!
at this rate..
howx am i goin to slim =X
argh!!
left 3 more months only..
year end le..hmmx.. =X
oh ya..today somehow..
was thinking..
next year my birthday
wan bring family go where makan
thinkin cant be always sakura
then jap buffet also cannot
scare parents dun eat much..
haha..then just now tv
got this programme..
introducing buffets!
ohhooo~~~
like very nice..
thinking nov or dec
ask deardear and moonie
go try..one at vivo..
one at ehh..orchard?
hmmx..nvm..see next week one
dinner buffet..saw like chinese food
haha..lalala~~
ehh.. =,="
see...food food food!!
howx to slim!
argh!!
anyway..
i hated yesterday nitex!
hope it can stop
wan to stop crying
and thinkin of him!
STOP!!
~*~tired~*~
