Wednesday 26 November 2008,14:03:00
haha..read thru the previous post
lolx..so stupid..
wad none of my biz anymore
wad i wun care anymore
KNS lorx.
ytd jiu call him again liao
with just hearing of his voice
makes mi feel..good..
sighx..still wad curse..
knn..tink drama mehx.
lolx.so idiot.
as if i reali wish..
u live in misery like mi
kns.fuck.tho i knw.
and strongly knw that
u will believe in it.
haha.but wadever la.
no matter wad i do or say
u only believes im evil
so no diff if u believes or not.
sighx.those things.
just wrote out of sadness only.
dun reali meant it.
haha.tho i do hate u at times
for the way u treated mi.
but.somehow.
deep inside my heart.
wo hai shi xi wang kan dao
ni xingfu.
no matter howx sadx.
howx upset.
but i can never bring myself
to hate u for long.
i will just miss your voice.
miss your hugs.
miss ur everythings soon again.
sighx.hopeless rite?
gone case rite?
haha..
hmmx..tml starting work le.
hopefully..everything...
start out rite..
haha..hopefully..
this post..will be the last one
that contains u in the chapter
haha.. =)
everyone moves on..
the earth continues turning.
no one will ever stop for mi.
im the only one.
wasting time.
standing at square one
never moving.
and only when i turn back to see
then i realised.
i once again.
wasted another year.
with everyone
moving on great and strong.
我们的看不懂 他们听懂了
我们的害怕 他们习惯了
世界不会因为我们任何一个人
而停留着。
不是命运已经注定谁比谁幸运，
也没有人的每一天都充满快乐。
人在成长的过程中
难免遇到挫折
懂得保护自己
也要懂得爱自己
生命的乐章
看你自己如何去谱写
躲避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难受
得到不一定能长久
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱
别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错
许多事情的答案都不只一个
所以我们永远都有路可以走
你能找到理由难过
也一定能找到快乐
Tuesday 25 November 2008,14:46:00
eNd chApteR
been a week
since i went work
and yet..
not even a call or sms
from u to bother
askin if im fine..
last whole week..
im the one calling u up
even called u on sat morning
hopin u can mi some food.
but u threw temper at mi
sayin u drank alot
the previous nitex.
so i waited..
til aftn..u rejected my call
sms ask if u busy.
u said ya with her.
win lorx.
the moment she call u
u got up fine and meet her
i was almost dyin..
u dun even hack care.
only idiot and fool like mi
would go bother abt ur life
when u sick.
and when im sick.
who cares? rite?
now i truly know
wad deardear and moon
meant by wad a jerk u r
now i see it and understands
im just being the greatest fool
on earth by not understanding it.
all i wan is a slight concern
from u..just a call or sms will do.
bother to ask mi..
so howx u feeling?betteR?
but u dun bother at all..
im just the only fool who will
go bother..care so much.
once u sick.my mind all filled with u
call everyday askin if u bett..
call everyday asking if u wann eat anythin.
rush down just to buy for u.
rush down doin everythin i could
just for u..and for nothing..
i got this stupid fever..
stupid dengue fever..
causing my life..so miserble now.
and u dun even bother!
i swear by my left over life
from this moment on
i wun be bother by ur life as well
even if one day
someone called to tell mi
u in hospital or wad
i wun care.i wun bother
its no long of any biz of mine!
i swear!
and this is my curse to u.
for treating mi like dirt.
tis is my curse for u.
u dun deserve any happiness.
from this moment on.
any gals u met, shall be like her
who will never love u nor be true to u
shall treat u like how u treated mi
this two months.
making full use as they nid.
and when they found the one they love
they shall just dump u like trash,
i wan u to fully experiences the pains,
the heartaches, the foolishness i went thru.
this will be my last chapter
of my past miserable life.
thurs i be starting work again
fr there on, shall start my new chapter.
my new life will begins.
this i assured myself.ha.aha..
wow.i..ehh..hmmx..man.
wads the color of my skin sia.
i reali cant recall =,="
my skin's reali a disaster
argh!! so er xin..
so scary..so..man..loss of words.
hahaa...cant bear to look at my own skin
lolx.terrible.. =X oh and one thing..
i been weighing myself..
ahaha..71?but so scare..
once i recover liao..gain back fast
lolx.. =P
argh..so damn itchy..sobs!
Thursday 20 November 2008,21:40:00
ytd nitex took medicine
temperature went down alot
mid nitex took temperature
36.8 nia.tot td can go work liao
but morning when woke up
man..38??
siaox..
went to see doc..
took a blood test
for dengue fever..
=,="
scare most jiu shi
da zhen chou xue liao
sighx...
tired..been slpin
whole daySS!
haha..fever since sun worx.
lolx..nan de will fever
wahx.then nv end..
lolx..will it overburn?
haha..
sighx..
u reali dun even..
bother to show a lil..
concern..
so sadx..
even frenx..
sick also will concern abit.
aft all..
when u sick..
i so concern abt u..
sighx..sianx..
forget it..
mayb even if i..
reali anythin happen..
u wun know also
haha..coz u said
i dun call u
u wun bother call mi
wahx..heartbreaking words
already so sick..
yet u still times..
purposely said those..
hurting things..
man..heartless creature..
Tuesday 18 November 2008,14:16:00
haha..that ah poh veri funnie one
just now sms..said..
when 'he' sick i take care him
so now i sick 'he' must take care mi
i said him siao!
i said.i take care him..
is i willingly one
dun mean he must take care mi
haha..anyway sun when..
he willing sent mi home
i already veri happie liao
just abit sad..
he nv bother sms or call mi
see if im better..ahaha..
anyway sighx..ytd at office..
reali felt like as if im dyin man!
kaox.reali feel so miserable!!
reali kills..
whole body aches.
cant move.
then keep fa leng.
the more cold the more pain.
lips and tongue feel numb.
things i taste are all bitter.
cant eat sia!!
zzz..reali terrible..
walk also feel giddy.
reali is everywhere PAIN!
but i touch my forehead
no fever.sis touch also bo.
then surprisingly.
just now see doc.
38.8 sia!
doc said.hopefully
i is only get infection
from my frenx!
got 2days mc.
if 2days later.
fever still persistant.
and no flu!
must go back see her.
coz suspect got dengue.
LOLX
i also nv tio mosquito bit
weird.
haha.tink is normally fever la
haha..sianx.
hmmx..weird.
just now after shower with
super warm water.
my hand no more so pain.
kns.ytd so damn pain
til each time i woke up
so hard to fall back to slp.
coz reali super pain.
argh!!
Tuesday 11 November 2008,18:54:00
wow..today while working.
was lookin at calendar
then realized..
today is exactly the one month
i went find him.
the 1st time i looked him up
was 11th Oct..haha..so zun..
today maybe the last time..
im seeing him..
yuan ben tot..
go ur place..
one last time..
tot can have a good nice
getting together de
but..
never expect..
it to be the worst..
but then again
well..
maybe only like that.
then can make mi..
really stop bothering u.
stupid mi rite.
no matter how hurts
i know i will get.
no matter howx pointless
i know the things im doing.
but still i wish to do.
still i wish to see u.
with just the little hope of
staying by ur side.
seeing u hugging u.
haha.but..
u reali is the best..
when u said this..
"what is it u exactly want fr mi"
"what is ur motive.."
"is this what u wan to see?"
haha..twice..
twice u hurts mi with
this same things.
its seems like..
no matter what
im reali just a scheming one
doing things with motive.
my zhen xin..
u reali can never feel it.
u reali think..
its worth getting myself
so hurt so pain..
just to see u hurt as well?
am i reali so idiot til.
i find myself not hurt enuf.
to get myself more hurts
in order just to see u hurt?
fuck lorx!
nothing to say.
u good u win.
this is always ur best way
of hurting mi.
returning mi double the hurts
i gave u in the past.
never mind.
maybe.
one day u will know
maybe one day u can feel
the pain i went thru.
coz i always believe in..
retribution.
im just being paid
for the pains i caused others
in the past.
你已做到顶绝顶狠
而我已做到最贱最狼狈
its time to stop right? (:
saw this bulletin in tagged
find it quite nice
so copied and paste here
hmmx..
如果你不爱一个人,
请放手,
好让别人有机会爱他/她.
如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢
也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋
也注定要放弃的.
人生中有许多种.
但别让自己
成为一种伤害.
有些缘分
是注定要失去的,
有些缘分
是永远都不会有好结果的.
爱一个人
不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人
就一定要好好的去爱他/她.
男人哭了
是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了
是因为她真的放弃了.
如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,
我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.
如果失去是苦,
你怕不怕付出?
如果迷乱是苦,
你会不会选择结束?
如果追求是苦,
你会不会选择执迷不悟?
如果分离是苦,
你要向谁倾诉?
好多事情
都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情
当时一点也不觉得苦!!
Sunday 9 November 2008,21:46:00
i am a little bit of loneliness
a little bit of disregard
a handful of complaints
but i can't help the fact
that everyone can see these scars
i am what i want you to want
what i want you to feel
but it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
to just believe this is real
so i let go, watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here 'cause you're all that i got
i can't feel the way i did before
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored
time won't heal this damage anymore
don't turn your back on me
i won't be ignored
i am a little bit insecure
a little unconfident
'cause you don't understand
i do what i can
but sometimes i don't make sense
i am what you never wanna say
but i've never had a doubt
it's like no matter what i do
i can't convince you
for once just to hear me out
so i let go, watching you
turn your back like you always do
face away and pretend that i'm not
but i'll be here 'cause you're all that i got
time is a valuable thing
watch it fly by
as the pendulum swings
watch it count down
to the end of the day
the clock ticks life away
it's so unreal
didn't look out below
watch the time go
right out the window
trying to hold on
but didn't even know
wasted it all just
to watch you go
i kept everything inside
and even though
i tried it all fell apart
what it meant to me
will eventually be
a memory of a time
when i tried so hard
i tried so hard and got so far
but in the end it doesn't even matter
i had to fall and lose it all
but in the end it doesn't even matter
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Sunday 2 November 2008,02:49:00
当我还是一个懵懂的女孩
遇到爱 不懂爱 从过去到现在
直到他也离开 留我在云海徘徊
明白没人能取代 他曾给我的信赖
see me fly i'm proud to fly up high
不能一直依赖别人给我拥戴
believe me i can fly
i am singing in the sky
就算风雨覆盖 我也不怕重来
我已不是那个懵懂的女孩
遇到爱 用力爱
人心真爱 像沙鸥来去填密
只为寻一个奇迹
see me fly i'm proud to fly up high
生命已经打开 我要你总精彩
believe me i can fly
i am singing in the sky
你曾经对我说 做勇敢的女孩
我盼有一天能和你相见
骄傲的对着天空说
世界乘你兜风
let me fly
我不会孤单因为你都在
最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己
突然好想你 你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛
我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品
我们那麽甜
那麽美
那麽相信
那麽疯
那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去
突然好想你 你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛
最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过
没有你却又突然 听到你的消息
醒了我却还是闭着眼睛
只有这样才能留住梦境
还看见我最爱的眼睛
还有你偷偷亲吻我的情景
醒了我都不会挣开眼睛
是怕泪水慢慢吞噬心情
原以为我们有了约定
就能够听见朋友祝福的声音
还来不及和你和你在一起
数着天空里坠落的星星
你已经离我而去
爱没有继续
原来我根本不是你的唯一
我紧闭双眼摒住呼吸
根本就不敢在夜里想你
谁知道在白天遇见了你
看见你新的唯一靠在你怀里
我留给眼泪不能呼吸
我无法面对最后这个结局
曾经我们有过无数话题
爱到最后
我们对爱竟会无能为力
谁会想到曾经相爱的人
还没到最后
我们对爱已经无能为力
Saturday 1 November 2008,13:04:00
wow!!
next wed ah poh
suppose to drink with mi
and this wed he fever
then..
next sat..moon suppose
to drink with mi..
today she fever!!!
>.<"
LOLX rite?
hmmx..sighx..
sianx.. =X
dunno why..
haha..hmmx..
this whole week..
been wondering..
wad have i done?
hmmx..why it seems like..
im just a scheming person
doin things with motive
in your eyes..
sighx..
reali sadx..
it seems like..
no matter what i do..
nothing is rite..
hmmx..i owed u alot
in my previous life?
did i?
i supposed so..
say i did everything
planned..
like trying to get u
to be nice to mi
so i can treat u like
DIRT
hmmx..
why is it that
when u said this
i felt..
it seems more like
u r the one..
doing things..
nice..so as to..
get mi more hurts?
dunno why
but reali..
when u said that
to mi.
i reali feel it that way
very strong.
the ways u treat mi
and yet the things u said
everything.
its like..
being so nice to mi.
misleading mi.
letting mi enjoy
the sweetness..
and then.
each time.
suddenly..
comes the words of knives
cutting mi thru.
hmmx.
dunno.
haha..
seriously lost.
lost as in.
i dunno wad i miself
doin and wantin
hmmx.
anyway
reali cant believed
u said that to mi
reali hurts mi lots
ha.ha.ha.
well.
nvm.
its good to get hurts
lolx!
feel great
ehh.i sound sick
lolx.. =X
Everybody's got something
they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
that just seems to grow with time
There's no use
looking back or wondering
How it could be now
or might have been
Oh this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend
that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know
no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be
cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use
looking back or wondering
How it should be now or
might have been
Oh this I know but still
I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that
I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter
where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream
that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will,
you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be
the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use
looking back or wondering
Because love is
a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
